NB of the Week

-I NEVER SPOIL FASTER THAN I CAN SEE. BESIDES THAT, IT'S ALL IN THE REFLEXES-

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #31
Written by Tom Waltz
Drawn by Ross Campbell

The Turtles just can't catch a break. Most recently, Shredder kidnapped Leonardo and brainwashed him into leading his foot. This led Splinter and the other three to do some shady deals (with the likes of Old Hob and Slash) and an eventual fight with their lost family member. Though they were able to mostly break the control and get Leo back, the group is very uneasy and trying to mend. Leo hates himself and doesn't trust his own action (even though the spirit of his mother talks to him and tells him otherwise), they all hiding out in the forests at April's parents place (hid from them as well) and Alopex has followed them, wanting to turn over a new leaf after she found out that Shredder used her and was the one who killed her family before he mutated her.
That's kinda the catch-up and what happens here. Don may have found how to destroy the Technodrome that Krang is building. April cut her hair short like all women in Hollywood are doing. Raph is starting to let Alopex in a little without wanting to kill her. Mostly though, this is Leo's issue. As he sulks alone in the forest,Splinter comes up and begins to tell him that much like a sword that is drawn, Leo was just a tool used by Shredder. He was able to fight it before blood was drawn and he shouldn't hold that against himself. He then reveals that Leo is not alone is talking to his mother. Splinter also speaks with her and he tells Leo that for her sake, he won't let him give up on himself or their family. He then returns Leo's blue mask and walks away. Later that day, as they all (sans Leo, April and Casey) sit and eat, they are attacked by a new mutant, an eagle of sorts who was flashed last issue to us, and a few Foot Assassins ("Killers of the highest order!"). As the five of them try to fight and are quickly taken down, the bird stands over Splinter and says "You are beaten, rodent. There is no Escape. Are you prepared for the slaughter?". But then, from behind him comes "That's funny, bird..." and in a gigantic, TMNT boner moment

we get a final page of Leo standing with his katanas and Blue mask.
"... I was gonna ask you the same thing."

This title has been damn awesome from it's very start. With the exception of one story, everything has been great, old Turtles fun. These guys get what makes them so awesome and it's the gimmicks or toys or cartoons. It's the characters. This is a family that will fight each other but more often fight for each other and you get that. The stories have flowed together very nicely and overall, it's just great to be a Turtles fan again. If you have ever been one, this is the title you've been waiting for since the original Laird and Eastman days.

(Sorta Late)NB of the Week

A smaller week leaves larger runs yet again.

Savage Wolverine #15
It's 1933 and Wolverine is pissed off that some gangsters have taken his friends (children and all). This issue, while doing a lot, doesn't progress the story very much. He gets the kids out but not before one of them gets back into trouble causing Wolverine to trade himself for the boy. I don;t mind the lack of movement because the writing is awesome and the art is damn amazing.

Justice League #28
Pulling from the Book of Bendis, Geoff Johns does a great job of making a good read while doing nothing to further the already existing arc. We get the story behind Magnus's Metal Men, the how and why of their creation and ultimately their demise. However, they're not quite as dead as he thought and he's ready to bring them back into battle against the Crime Syndicate.

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe #10
Still willing to die fighting in the Realm of Dreams in the Underworld, He-Man, King Randor and Battle Cat wage war but are surprised when Teela, Stratos and Moss Man come to their rescue, The latter three have found out that the Sky Realm is a pathway through all the Circles of the Underworld and can easily leave now. As Randor takes over flying their ship, he guides them directly into the Realm of Death where the Snake Men live. Turns out it wasn't Randor at all as we geeks get the introduction of King Hiss.

Captain America #17
Or Dr. Mindbubble, what a weird, great character you are. After Cap fights some stereotype Asians, he finds out it was just a distraction from what was really happening. Nuke is dead and it was to release Weapon Minus (Mindbubble) who takes control with his mind bubbles (literally bubbles that come from a pipe in his forehead) and has Fury Jr attacking his own people without even knowing it.

Daredevil #36 (MAJOR SPOILS IN THIS ONE)
Murdock has revealed himself to be Daredevil in court! Not a hoax or ruse or dream! He does it to make sure the Serpents can't, thus taking their leverage away. By the end, he defeats them (as was expected) but in doing such, he and Foggy (still dying from cancer) have been disbarred from legal practice in New York (apparently being a costumed hero and a lawyer cause ethical problems). And since it's very unlikely he'll get any state to issue another, he has to go to where he already has a license: California. Here comes the new series.

Wonder Woman #28
Another amazing issue from Azzarello that seemingly does nothing yet leaves me wanting more. Wonder Woman and Hermes find their way back to Zola and Zeke and find that their "guide" Dionysus has been taken and is being used to get into Olympus. Up on Olympus, First Born escapes his chains and surprises Apollo with how little he is willing to die. As First grabs Apollo and claims he is but the first God he shall kill, Apollo tells him it will be over his dead body and the last page is everything exploding. Great cliffhanger from what is still DC's best book.

Boobs of the Day

Gamora
In honor of the release of the first trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy, we have the scantily clad Gamora. Granted, she doesn't wear this costume anymore and this particular Gamora is actually a Skrull but who cares. She's a hot green chick.

NB of the Week

-THAT SPOILS REALLY TIED THE ROOM TOGETHER-

Winter Soldier: The Bitter March #1 (of 5)

Written by Rick Remender
Drawn by Roland Boschi

Remember in the current Captain America, we have the Iron Nail, who used to be a SHIELD agent and now wants to take down the western government? Of course you do. Turns out that years ago, he and Fury had a run in with the "urban myth" that is the Winter Soldier. After Hydra kidnapped a brother and sister scientist team (is that a team? I guess it's a team), Shen has been sent to rescue them. Turns out they have cracked the Alchemy Formula and SHIELD can't have Hydra having that. After a run in with Fury (the white one, not the black son who hasn't been born yet), the two set to infiltrate Castle Hydra. After Shen thinks he has a woman spilling all the beans, it turns out she has had him the whole time and Madame Worm has worked her tiny.. um, worms into Shen. After Fury helps kill (presumably) Worm, they find the two siblings and head to the roof to leave. But in a "blur of shadow", they are quickly taken. Turns out somebody else wants the formula. With convenient winged suits, Shen and Fury take off after the would be kidnapper. As Shen distracts, Fury swoops in with a blow that knocks the scientists out of villain's arms. Shen is able to fly in and save the two from certain deaths but now all five are stranded in the snow covered forest. Worse over, Shen caught a glimpse of the new kidnapper and the red star on his metal looking arm. The mark of the soviet assassin that no living man has ever confirmed.
"Part man. Part machine. You better hope he's myth. Better hope that wasn't him. Better pray to God you're not stranded in this forest with the Winter Soldier."
It's almost a given that with Remender writing Captain America and this mini, things will carry over and tie in but with this first issue, nothing is needed except the general knowledge of Bucky and his Winter Soldier history. Remender writes with intelligence and a great flare for espionage. Those final words, even though we know everything works out for Fury and Bucky (kinda), are terrifying. You feel how scared these guys should be, even trained SHIELD agents, by the notion of The Winter Soldier. Great first issue and I can't wait to see where this story takes us.

BONUS NB!!!
Check out this amazing cover from All-New X-Factor #3. The story was great and the cats have nothing to do with anything other than we find out Gambit has three pet cats but who cares? It's a damn awesome cover.

(Late)(er)NB of the Week

Late once again so here's the rundown of the few books I read.

All-New Invaders #2

Jim Hammond is under attack by Tanalth the Pursuer (Kree badass chick) as she looks for the missing pieces of the God's Whisper (a machine that can control Gods). As Cap and Bucky come to his rescue, Tanalth gets word that they've recovered all the pieces and she heads. Now it's up to the three to find Namor and kick Kree ass.

New Avengers #14
Another Earth is taken out by another Incursion and Doctor Strange tells the dark lords that he wants all the power possible and he's willing to sell all his soul for it... I love Hickman but this issue seemed lacking and could been told in the last issue.

Earth 2 #20
After the revelation that the new Batman if Poppa Wayne (not dead in this universe), we get back to the action as he and his rag-tag group run from Parademons and try to get the new Kryptonian kid to realize how strong he can be and how much good he can do. Meanwhile, Superman destroys all places of holy worship as he declares Darkseid to be the only true God.

Captain America #16.NOW/#1
Jet Black runs around New York as she comes to realize that people of this dimension are soft and weak. She is then approached by Red Skull and is told that she should join him (out of respect to her father, whom was combined with Skull for a while). She turns him down but we're left with the forsehadowing that she may not be the hero we're hoping she becomes.

Forever Evil #5

Sinestro Joins up with Luthor's "Injustice" team and so does Deathstroke after being convinced that his business will die once the Syndicate takes over... And that's really it. Very slow issue.

Artifacts #34
The second issue by Top Cow's Talent Hunt winners gives us a story of Ian Nottingham really wanting his swords and killing a lot to get 'em. Not much here but it was a fun story.

If Only...

I woulda loved to see this commercial but it's probably funnier now through two different ones.

NB of the Week

Three Arcs.

Read It.

Love It.

Boobs of the Day

Mariska Hargitay
Anybody who knows anything knows that SVU is the only way to watch Law and Order, with Detectives Benson and Stabler being the main reasons why. My man-crush on Christopher Meloni not-withstanding, Hargitay is the real draw of those two. She's sexy and badass and I'll let her cuff me any day of the week.

NB of the Week

-START EVERY DAY OFF WITH A SPOIL AND GET IT OVER WITH-

First, a very special thank you to Marvel who it appears has finally started reading my letters and taking my advice and giving us the all nuded version of the Avengers. It's gonna be a sexy month.

Captain America #15
Written by Rick Remender
Drawn by Carlos Pacheco

The Iron Nail continues to watch Cap, Nuke and SHIELD as he informs others (mostly for us readers) of his plans to take down the West. As Cap and Fury Jr transport Nuke (who'd rather be called Frank) to a security base for questioning, Cap begins to help Frank see that he has been a pawn. That the war is over and that he was programmed by Weapon Minus to follow orders. He begins to see the errors in what he's done as they arrive to the mountain base in the Grand Canyon. Falcon and Cap go back to Brooklyn and they begin to talk about how things don't seem right. They believe somebody has a bigger game in mind and that smearing the name of America is just the start. Telling Cap to get some rest, Falcon heads back to help get answers from Nuke. As a SHIELD Agent, whose father was saved by Nuke back in the day, talks to him, trying to ease his mind and get some answers, we see the Iron Nail looking in as he grabs a remote of some kind, claiming that Fury's son has no idea what that base is housing before pushing the button on the remote. Light glows out from the head of Nuke as he screams and blows up him and the mountain base. As Fury Jr and newly arrived Falcon go flying into the chasm from the blast, we see inside the base as a large,
used-to-be-secured door is now blasted open. Out from the smoke, we get the premiere of the Psychedelic Super-Soldier himself, Dr. Mindbubble. Weapon Minus is in full swing and Captain America is about to meet it's first child.
Remender planted the seed of Mindbubble back in his Uncanny X-Force run, though it was just a statue that was destroyed during a fight. But the seeds are there. He's been building upon Grant Morrison's Weapon Plus/Minus premise for a while now and it's awesome to see it taking form. Remender has proven he can handle the long-term plots and handle them extremely well and I can't wait for this next storyline. Dr. Mindbubble may just become a new favorite.

NB of the Week

-SPOILS IS THE LIGHTNING, SPOILS IS THE MADNESS-

It was a smaller week and I was gonna run through the six books I got but after reading Daredevil, it was hard to not pick a favorite. So here's the latest chapter in the life and times of Matt Murdock:

Daredevil #35
Written by Mark Waid
Drawn by Chris Samnee

Daredevil has thwarted the plots of the Serpents a lot lately but they may have put him into a corner. After receiving a call about Foggy, Matt rushes to the hospital only to find a doctor has "saved" Foggy from his cancer with an illegal, experimental drug. Matt soon finds out that the Serpents are behind it. Why? One of the men there explains that though his son is a Serpent, he has been wrongly arrested for arson and the murder of many people involved. And they've done their homework. They have proof that Matt is Daredevil. They have studied him, his powers, his origins, his everything and they will use it all against him. He will be revealed as a liar, will be disbarred from law and his life will be over. Either Matt defends the man or it's all gone. Murdock decides to ask advice form Elektra as he finds he does his best thinking while moving (which in his life means sparing with her and fighting bad guys). She reminds him that she didn't become the best by having moves that people could ever predict. Taking her advice, Matt goes to trial. Bringing Kristen with him, he forgoes opening remarks and goes strait to testimony as she calls Matt to the stand. After Matt swears in under oath, Kristen asks him to state his name leaving us with a huge bombshell of an ending:
"My name is Daredevil."
Marvel has started relaunching every book they have and Daredevil was coming up. After one more issue, Waid will pen a digital series that leads into the new Daredevil book in which Murdock moves from Hell's Kitchen (I think to California) and has to start new. What better way than to out himself as Daredevil, thus taking from the Serpents what leverage they had and forcing himself into a new life? Waid has impressed me from the start of this series. I was uncertain if I was going to be buying the next one as the new start gave Marvel the reason they needed to start charging an extra dollar every issue but if this reveal stays and he's not tricking his way out, I may have to swallow that money and do it. Murdock admitting to lying all this time (in the comics, since he was outed in 1998) and having to leave everything behind could be a giant change for him and I want to be there for every step.

The Return to Amazing... Hopefully

After a Previews cover was "leaked" last week, it has been confirmed by Marvel that The Amazing
Spider-Man title is returning along with Peter Parker. Bringing him back are long running creators Dan Slott and Humberto Ramos. Not made clear (or I could have just missed it) was the fate of SpOck as Superior. In case you didn't know, Doctor Octopus switched his mind with Peter as his body was dying. Afterwards, Pete's conscience had been trapped in his mind with Ock but Ock soon wiped the mind clear of Pete (seemingly) and began to live a new life as Peter inside Pete's body.
I am both annoyed and excited for this change to finally come (with another Amazing movie coming, it was inevitable that Pete was brought back).
On the plus side, SpOck has made some pretty significant changes to Pete's life. His job, his relationships and his education have all changed. He has changed the way people perceive Spider-Man (or at lest they should perceive him differently) from killing (yes, he did kill) to a more authoritative approach in patrolling his street (he now has himself linked to robot spiders that patrol everything and alert him of any trouble). All these things should make it pretty hard for Peter to adjust to being back. It's essentially become a new world that he'll come back to and I find that concept very intriguing. Peter Parker is a character that has gone through a lot of story but I've always felt his depth as a person has never been stretched. This could be the new start that could revitalize him and make him exciting once more.
On the negative side, I have never liked Superior Spider-Man. Getting past the One More Day crap that was forced, Amazing was still a decent title for the most part. Until the rotating cast of writers was cut down to just Slot. Slott started writing Pete as though he had no history. He was out of character, stories were thrown out that contradicted others and people became dumber to help advance the plot. And they didn't stop with Pete. As Superior, Ock has been nothing less than an annoying and became an asshole to everyone. The dude freaking killed somebody! And not once has another hero said "man, what the hell happened? Spider-Man was never like this."
So Peter Parker is coming back and people seem pleased. At the same point, people are pissed that Ock may be leaving. I'm more pissed that Dan Slott is still writing and that's the thing that is holding me back from really getting excited.

Clif-Notes: Lone Survivor

This one can be made short and sweet (as opposed to all my other reviews which are long and bitter): Go see Lone Survivor.
I think at this point, most people know the true-life plot behind the movie but I'll tell ya anyhows. After a single choice to either kill innocents or let them walk and potentially bring reinforcements back goes horribly wrong (guess which option they pick), Marcus Lutrell, Michael Murphy, Danny Dietz and Matt Axelson must fight for their lives in enemy territory. As the title reveals, three don't make it out alive but that doesn't change anything for the movie. It was fast-paced, exciting and very tense at points. There were a few parts in particular where the audience as a whole "oohed" and moaned and there were definitely some points that were a little bit hard to watch. The back end of it felt a little slow after the others died because you knew the last man was still making it out no matter what they threw at him but that wasn't the point. It was about choices and fighting for the brother next to you and those were loud and clear.
If you like war-type movies, this is right up your alley. If you have a hard time sitting through the grit and grime that comes with that, maybe not so much. I for one have started my 2014 Movies off to a great lead.

NB of the Week

Another small week brings about another run of the crops.

All-New X-Factor #1
Peter David returns to the Title of X-Factor but in a very different form. Having bought the name from Madrox, Serval Industries has made itself a superteam whose only purpose is to protect the company and it's interests. To start, that means stopping a group from experimenting on other mutants. Serval may claim to want to help people, but you already know ulterior motives are buried under it all.

Cataclysm: Ultimate Spider-Man #3
Though the writing was great and the art was fantastic, this mini proved to be mostly unnecessary as not much with Galactus actually happened. Destruction everywhere and Miles' dad now knows he's Spider-Man (a big deal in itself but it doesn't help the Galactus story), but that's it. It ends leading into the main Cataclysm mini.

Earth 2 #19

On the Superman front, he reveals himself to the world as he uses the Washington Monument to destroy the White House. On the Batman front, his group find a hidden alien under the prison's floor. As they get to the secret room, they find a young boy (maybe teens). After he falls ill, Batman figures it's because of the Kryptonite he has. The boy is Kryptonian (Superboy?).

Cataclysm: the Ultimate Last Stand #3
Miles and Evil Reed (as they're calling him now that they are sending them to out Good Reed) enter the regular Marvel Universe and the Baxter Building to try and figure out how to stop Galactus. After Valeria walks in and realizes Evil Reed isn't her dad, she sends the two running back home. They didn't find what they wanted but Evil Reed, after seeing his other life and the daughter he doesn't have, begins to see the errors of his ways.

Savage Wolverine #14/#14.NOW/#1
Yes, all of those numbers are on the cover but this is the next issue and not a relaunch. Richard Isanove takes over as writer and artist for what may the best written story so far. Prohibition era Wolverine has friends that consider him family but what French mobsters (if there is such a thing) want his friends to shut down their store (which sells liquor) and they refuse, murder follows. And when friends of Wolverine are gunned down, the shit is about to hit the fan. Great, albeit cliched, story and amazing art. This was a great start to a new story in Wolverine's history.

100 Bullets: Brother Lono #7
Speaking of shit hitting the fan, if there's one thing you don't want to do to a character in Azzarello's 100 Bullets, it's piss them off. In this issue's case, that also includes torturing Lono (with such tactics as peppers in the eyes and pulling fingernails). Second to last issue and I can't wait to see how bloody it all ends and I can't wait to count the bodies Lono leaves behind.

Boobs of the Day

Signed Chest Woman
Back in 1996, I was thirteen and just into the early start of my long love for boobs and thanks to Adam Sandler, I got some very memorable ones. Her real name is Jessica Gunn and she did nothing else since Gilmore but her perfect cleavage will live forever.

NB of the Week

Holidays have come and gone and with it come the messed up reading schedule. Not many this week so it's late but here's the run down:

New Avengers #13

The Illuminati of another dimension find out that it's no use fighting as faceless beings destroy them all so that they can have their world. Our Illuminati use Reed's bridge (from Hickman's Fantastic Four run) in order to begin watching other dimensions to try and figure things out better. Not much progression at all but amazing story and amazing art.

Savage Wolverine #13
Madripoor has a lot of poachers who are killing for fur and ivory and Wolverine doesn't like it. Because he's an animal himself and can talk to elephants... What the hell was with this story? Wolverine tells us that killing animals is bad. Great. Thank you for wasting two issues in order to convey an after-school special.

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe #9
The Masters and King Randor fight for their lives in the ring of Dreams of the Underworld (think the rings of Hell in Dante's Inferno but less scary for the kids). As the realm turns more against them, Teela. Stratos and Moss Man are eaten and sent to the next ring, Earth. Sadly, that was about all that happened. Too slow for my liking but I don't care. He-Man is still the shit.

Superman Unchained #5
Surprise, Wraith has seemingly turned on Superman... I plan on rereading this after it's finally done. Maybe then I'll get a story and understand why I'm paying for this.

Artifacts #33

Guest writer and artist take over this issue (and the next, though by a new pair) as Tom Judge solves a long running killing spree. The man used magic to make his victims the keys on a piano so that they would sing his song for every new victim he made play. Nothing brilliant but the creative team are newbies who won a talent contest and it was pretty good for a first go.