NB of the Week

-I FIND A LITTLE GIGGLE-GAS BEFORE I BEGIN INCREASES MY SPOILS ENORMOUSLY-

Secret Wars #2

Written by Jason Aaron

Drawn by Esad Ribic

Real quick, before we get started, anybody want out from the spoils? Because there's going to be some big things going down... Still here? Good. Lets get goin'.

The Marvel Universe as we know it is no more. In it's place is the twisted, beyond-totalitarianism existence we were warned of, Battleworld. As the issue begins, we see a young man fail a test as another passes. He has been deemed worthy and shall take his place among the Thors as the protectors and law of the realm. Whom do they serve? Well the one, true God of course: Doom. And it's their job to keep his peace. As an old Thor tells this young Thor the ways, we move over to another land, the Kingdom of Utopolis, as Alex Powers, along with some molemen and Dragon Man, find a hidden area and a very big hidden surprise. A buried ship.

We move back to the Thors as they arrive at Bar Sinister, "arresting" Mr Sinister for the crime of discord. He moves along willingly, quipping at every chance, showing he may have a plan already laid out. The Thors transport him to Castle Doom in Doomstadt (somebody obviously has an ego to measure) where we see just how strong Doom has made his haven: not only is it built around the World Tree but Galactus is his personal watch dog, guarding it from any unwanted guests. Here, we also find that Stephen Strange is the Sheriff of Agamotto, Doom's right hand man and the final say in law and "justice." He finds Sinister guilty of trying to align with Hyperion, the Baron of Utopolis against House Braddock of Higher Avalon. Sinister lives his namesake and instead of punishment, he proclaims his right to meet the accuser in battle. Only instead of Baron Braddock (Jamie Braddock), he wants younger brother Lord Braddock (Brian Braddock). After a quick beheading of Sinister, Brian failed to see it would take more to defeat Sinister and is in return quickly defeated by his still living opponent. Before death, Doom stops the fight and we find that Doom is unhappy with Brian. Those that want him cast down utter one name. The name Braddock. As he begins to rule against Brian, Jamie steps in claiming it was his name they spoke, not Brian. Before too harsh a judgement can come down, Susan Storm (is it still Storm here?) steps in and convinces Doom of mercy. As such, Brian is made the new Baron as Jamie is stripped of all and is given to the Shield. As people leave the room, Strange is given news of the findings young Powers found earlier. He knows it isn't good and invokes quarantine there. Before following that lead, we get Jamie as he is given some armor and taken to the Shield. A seemingly endless wall separating the rest of Doom's world from the lower pits of Hell. Essentially. The Deadlands: home of the Zombie Horde, the Annihilation Wave and the Ultron AI. Old Thor tells new, young Thor of it's horrors and how many lives it has claimed and we leave them with Jamie fighting (a)Venom and zombies.

Back to Strange, he gives Thors the quarantine lead as they arrive to the ship and set it up. A quarantine happens when something against the word of Doom appears. 

"Sometimes things occur that seem to contradict the godhead of Doom. The question isn't are they real. It's do they matter. There is an order to this world, and that order has a name.. it is Doom. And there is nothing lurking in the shadows that can threaten his reign."

As the Thors talk, one moleman can't help itself (for the vessel is just so shiny and needs to be touched) and it moves towards it, opening it. The older Thor is struck down as he calls for younger Thor to run and tell the sheriff what is happening. As old Thor dies, we see the faces of those responsible and it is Death himself: Thanos and his Cabal. The ones from before the incursion and before Battleworld.

Shit just got real. Marvel has listed their titles and told us all of the premise of Battleworld but nothing could have prepared me for just how bleak and horrifying and badass it really is. Doom has finally made his world in his image and it appears that he is far beyond simply ruling. He said that there are those who wish him thrown down (as all rulers face) but his ruling seems very, very solid. Maybe Thanos is exactly what this world needs in order to save them from it all. The devil you know...

Boobs of the Day

Ruby Rose
In seeing pictures for the new season of Orange Is The New Black, I saw Miss Rose in a picture. Come to find out she has modeled, DJ'd, acted. All sorts of stuff over seas.
And if ya didn't notice, her tattoos include Archer and Leonardo of the ninja turtle variety. A girl with good taste. I'm in.

NB of the Week

-THERE'S ONLY ONE PATH TO SPOILS... YOUR EXTINCTION-

Secret Wars #1

Written by Jonathan Kickman

Drawn by Esad Ribic

Hickman begins the ending to his two year, massive story in world shattering fashion. Literally. In the start of his New Avengers run, we found the beginnings of the Incursions, wherein two universes began bleeding into one another with Earth as the focal point. Two outcomes were possible at that point: either one Earth was destroyed, thus destroying that realm of existence or neither Earth did anything at which point both universes collide and cease to exist. After fighting other worlds, fighting the bad guys and fighting each other, the Avengers and the whole Marvel Universe are down to one last Incursion and one last fight:

The Marvel Universe is colliding with the Ultimate Universe.

This is Secret Wars. This is the new Marvel.

After the Illuminati refused to kill another universe, Namor joined forces with those that will. Mainly villains like Terrax, Maximus the Mad and Thanos. Seeking to be the ultimate victor, they travel to the Ultimate

universe, seeking aid from their (arguably) worst villain: Reed Richards. They warn that the two worlds are dying and they just want to be on the winning side. Meanwhile over on regular Marvel, the Avengers are trying their best to save as many people as they can before everything dies. As warned, the two Earths have appeared together and all Hell breaks loose. Ultimate Marvels battling Regular Marvels as everything around begins to fade and collapse. As the Illuminati try to gather what they claim to be the best hope at rebuilding (ie the smartest and the strongest), they find themselves in way over their collective heads. The massive ship they're trying to leave on gets pulled apart, Regular Reed Richards (and others) in one half as Sue and his kids (and others) are in the other. They try to pull the two back together but it's too late. Sue's half is seemingly obliterated along with everything and everyone left on both Earths as the planets crash together. Everything turns white before we're left in the issue with nothing but blackness and a final epitaph page with the birth and death dates of both universes.

And all kinds of crazy happened. The apparent deaths of Rocket and Groot (before the worlds crashed), Scott Summers joined the Phoenix again, Doom is always behind everything. Not to mention with the world ending, Punisher goes after all the villains possible.

Ive said it before and I'll happily repeat myself: If you aren't reading a Jonathan Hickman book, you need to. Any book. The man is a plotting genius. His stories carry for lengths on end, never leaving a thread behind and everything he writes is important. It feels confusing and bit too heavy at times but dammit all if the payout hasn't been worth it every time. This is no different. We know that not everything is gone. Marvel has said that what is built from this is BattleWorld. A new Earth made up of different versions of characters from all kinds of different dimensions and timelines. Whatever comes from this will be the new, regular Marvel but those plans are pretty tight-lipped right now.

The only real negative from this issue is that if you haven't been reading the Avengers titles, it may come off as a bit confusing. If you're reading it, you likely know what the premise is and should be able to follow that much, but it's all been building and this is the full culmination of it all.

Amazing writing. Beautiful art (great to see Esad Ribic back with Hickman once more). Nothing will every be the same. Except those parts that are.