Sunday, October 31, 2010

Clif-Notes: Saw 3D


I freely admit that I love the Saw movies even though everything after the first one lacked any sort of original idea for their stories and characters. The first one took an old idea and presented it in a new way and it is easily the best of the series and, I think, arguably one of the the better "horror" movies to date. 2-6, however, just became a gore fest. From "horror" to "slasher" for me. But I still love 'em for that because I still think it's fun.
Saw 3D was mostly a cliche of it's own movies. This time around, the man (Bobby, played by Sean Patrick Flanery) put into the games is done so because he has made fame and fortune off of telling his story of surviving Jigsaw. The real problem with this? Bobby has never actually been part of Jigsaw's games. So he sets out to try and rescue the people who are parts of this lie in the ultimate goal of saving his wife, who doesn't know it's a lie. His game is plenty bloody and plenty gory and it was all fun to see in 3D (though definitely not needed in 3D).
Meanwhile, Detective Hoffman is still Jigsaw's only apprentice left and he is still desecrating the "true mean" of what Jigsaw started. Jigsaw's now widow has told the cops about Hoffman and he is set to take her out. Both of these stories playing out simultaneously throughout the movie.
As much as I love me some gross gore, this movie was pretty much that and I found it to be a very unnecessary movie. Until the end. The 7th and "final" Saw actually surprised me at the end almost as much as the first one did. And here is the spoiler that tells why. Turns out Dr. Gordon (Cary Elwes) from the first one didn't die after he crawled out of that bathroom. Jigsaw took him as another apprentice! He has been the one in all these movies who has been planting keys inside people's eyes or sewing shut their mouths. He has been the doctor helping with it this whole time! Sadly, Detective Hoffman does kill Jigsaw's wife, Jill, but as a final instruction, Gordon was told to get rid of him if anything were to happen to her. And since Jigsaw kept Gordon a secret from the others, Hoffman had no idea some one was waiting for him. Gordon locks him up in that same bathroom from the first movie, with no way of getting out and thus ends the movie.
That ending saved it for me. I absolutely did not see Gordon coming back and this was even after I knew his character was in this movie! And it fit perfectly and made sense! I will give the credit where the credit is due. The writers of these movies have made great torture devices but, other than the first one, not real creative on the stories but this one helps redeem that a bit. I was totally thrown off guard and for that, Saw 3D gets my approval.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Kinda Weird

I saw an article on this and it's a little weird. It's from the 1928 Charlie Chaplan movie, Circus. The person does seem to holding something up to their ear. Maybe a radio? Or maybe a time-travelling cell-phone....

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

NB of the Week

Captain America #611
Just as Bucky starts to live with be Captain America while having Steve back, all Hell breaks lose. As always, Baron Zemo is a schmuck and wants to ruin Cap. After trying to do it physically to him, he decides its time to kill his character and Zemo releases evidence to all of Cap's history as the Winter Soldier and the murders he committed. As Steve tries his best to convince the government that he was under mind-control and it wasn't his fault, Cap does what Cap does and goes out to fight the bad guys. And what better bad guys then a group of neo-nazis? As he jumps through the skylight of a warehouse filled with banners and skinheads, his inner-monologue says it all:
"Steve says I can't let the media #@$%-storm get in the way of doing my job -- and maybe he's right. But in my heart I know I'm just trying to accomplish some good while I still have the job.
But there's one other thing I know...
Taking out guys wearing swastikas never gets old."
Hells yeah! In the end, Cap turns himself over, knowing it's the right think to do but when the morale is down and The Dream is in question, nothing kicks more ass then Captain America kicking Nazi ass!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I've Been Found Guilty

Of finally starting to feel old. Any of you who talk to me know that I may be one of the biggest kids you will find but the age factor is starting to set in. I was watching Judge Judy today (as I try to do every day when I can) and at the end, when they show all the quick sponsor commercials before the credits, they show one for a recalled hip-replacement law-suit and another for hemorrhoid cream..... Really? These are the sponsors of a show I watch and love? Balls. Kinda brings a brotha down, Knaw'mean?
If only I knew people who were older than me to make me feel young again.....

Monday, October 25, 2010

S**t You Don't Know - 12

In 1989 Walter Scott Knieriemen admitted breaking into a woman's home in Wheeling, Vancouver, but was acquitted of burglary charges after a jury found that he acted without illegal intent. A psychiatrist testified that Knieriemen suffered from a sexual dysfunction that compelled him to follow a pair of leather gloves he had recently seen the woman wear

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

NB of the Week

Daredevil #511
This one may be a bit tricky to see why it was cool but I'll see what I can do
A bit ago, in order to stop the Kingpin from becoming The Hand's new leader, Matt Murdock accepted the role, thinking that with the right leadership, The Hand could become an agent of good. Slowly, Murdock started to become a little darker. Eventually he put a Dojo on top a building, declaring it the Shadowland. Hand ninjas roamed the streets, taking down any kind of crime people were committing, causing most people to fear DD and the streets. As DD became darker and darker, he actually killed Bullseye, sending that panic through the hero-community as well. Turns out DD has been possessed by an ancient spirit and it is coming to rule The Hand again.
As the heroes fight for Murdock's soul in Shadowland, people start rioting in the streets, taking back what they feel it and DD have stolen: Hell's Kitchen. As Murdock and Nelson's business partner, Dakota North, tries to make her way through one of the many "gatherings", a fist flies across her face, knocking her to the ground. Pushing herself up, her head turns to say one thing, "Right" and you know she's ready to throw down too. Which she does. By then beating the snot outta the man who hit her and his friend who tries to join in. To every one's awe, she then just walks away through the crowd who can only stare in disbelief.
It was a quick and small scene, but the art on it was probably the best part. There was literally only seven boxes of art and it was great story-telling. The look on her face as she picks it up was the best. Good for Dakota. It's about time some of these "normals" started acting like they gave a damn and that's why she has earned my coveted NB Of The Week.

Monday, October 18, 2010

I Approve

Ladies and Germs, we have the Lantern! It seems to really fit the overall Lantern design (meaning the costume) and I for one like the sleek look and alien appearance and am excited to see how this movie turns out. I approve.

Is It Racist That I Still Find This Racist?

I saw a news clip about how much praise this video is getting. Apparently the story is that the head writer at Sesame Street has an adopted, black child and after she complained about not having the cliched "strait, blond" hair type, he wanted to make her feel better and wrote this song.
My problem with this (as it is with a lot of things like this) is that if a white puppet was singing about how they loved having their strait, blond hair, people would be in an uproar about how racist it is. I don't get it.
I'm not saying it doesn't have a positive message. I like that it's teaching kids to love themselves for who they are. I just think it's funny that being aimed at black kids isn't racist when if it were aimed at white kids, it would be. But whatever, right? Watch it and judge it for yourselves.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Comic Book ReCap

Ultimate X-Men vol. 9 & 10
Vol. 9 - The Tempest
As The Tempest begins, we join the X-Men as they find out a killer mas been murdering young mutants. They find this out from Northstar (in his Ultimate Debut) as he lays in a comma after the murder's bullet missed his heart thanks to his super speed and reflexes (though, it sounds like they're not quite fast enough). Marvel Girl is able to pull an image from his mind and after a little research at tattoo parlor, they find out the man is named Nathaniel Essex and he calls himself Sinister. As we see Sinister, we find that he is working for Lord Apocalypse as he needs ten "sacrifices" in order to return and claim his rule. Xavier thinks it's best to send out the older class of X-Men, leaving the "rookies"(Iceman, Rogue, Nightcrawler, Angel and Shadowcat) behind at the school with him. We are in for a surprise, though. As Wolverine and Storm raid Sinister's apartment, they find a dummy dressed in a crazy Apocalypse outfit, suggesting Sinister is a crazy fool. They also find his clippings showing that he is heading to the school, looking for Xavier. It then falls squarely on the shoulders of the "rookies" to stop him. And guess what. They do. Yay! However, once taken into captivity, Sinister is visited by the real Apocalypse, showing he may not be as crazy as we thought. And Storm went all punk as a way of trying to deal with the death of Beast.

It's almost immediately apparent right off the bat how different Brian K Vaughn's writing is from that of Bendis or Millar. As big and flashy and good as they were, Vaughn has a knack for writing characters more than action and it shows. He makes you feel for these characters more than we have so far and that's a great thing to have.

Vol. 10 - Cry Wolf
During some much needed R&R, the X-Men are attacked while at the fair by none other that Mr. Gambit himself. Turns out he's here to "steal" Rogue. As they did with Gambit, turns out the Van Strucker siblings (the weird brother and sister team that need to be in skin contact with each other to make their blast powers work...) want Rogue to work for them and their company, helping mutants. The main reason she should join? They have a suit that stops controls her powers, making it possible for her to experience human touch. Which she does with Gambit. After they reveal she will die if she doesn't join, Gambit turns on them because "this wasn't what he signed on for". He and Rogue take out the Weirdo Siblings and run into Wolverine who is there to rescue Rogue along with the rest of the X-Men. After a smack-down with Gambit, Rogue steps in to stop him, claiming to the team that she is leaving them and going with Gambit because he can offer her more than they can...

Remember when I was telling you how much I loved the first story Gambit was in? Well, this is the reason I quickly came to hate him again. He lost all the new charm and heart that Chuck Austen gave him at the start and became the "I want to love Rogue" crap he is everywhere else. As well written as this story still was, easily my least favorite so far. I'm just glad Gambit dies the next time we see him...

Next Up: Vaughn teams with Stuart Immonen for The Most Dangerous Game

Comic Book Recap

Ultimate X-Men vol. 8 - New Mutants
First, I need to say I find it a little depressing how much free time I have had these last few days and how I almost wish I wasn't using it to read comics instead of something important. I mean, are any of you really reading these? I suppose most people tune me out when I talk so blogging shouldn't really be much different. But I at least get to get crap off my mind so you will take. You will take it and you will like it.

New Mutants begins with exactly what you think it would. The first issue brings in Warren Worthington aka Angel and all the religious fanatics that you would think follow that as a real angel. Not much happened though. Second issue, however, brings on a young mutant whose powers manifested over night. Unfortunately his power is to radiate lethal poison. He wakes to find his mother dead and as soon as he gets to school, all his classmates die too. A bit later, Wolverine finds him in a cave and does what he does best and what the kid asks him to do: he kills him. Which also leads into the bigger story. Members of the administration think the presidents new, pro-mutant stance is because Xavier is in his mind, which is also why they sent the mercenaries after Wolverine in the last story. To keep with his pro-stance but to separate him from Xavier, they put together their own mutant team who try to advocate tolerance and not violence towards humans and mutants. The team, led by former Xavier student and lover Emma Frost, consists of X-Men defunct Beast, rock star Dazzler, mind possessing Karma and Cyclops' own brother Havok. Fury and the X-Men know this is all a stage, though, for those "none believers" in the White House to force a divide. As Miss Frost addresses the public with the president, sentinels attack, leaving her and her untrained team like deer in the headlights. Thankfully the X-Men are there to stop the attack, but not without casualty. Beast is caught under the rubble and killed. Fury (now with proof) arrests the party responsible and Emma, Dazzler and Havok join the X-Men.

Bendis really ended his run well. As much as the first story felt strung-out and almost pointless, you really see the big picture he was getting us to by the end. A fantastic read. And Finch's art was amazing. It's a shame this guy only got twelve issues to strut his stuff cuz he's great. Though I have no plans to buy it, I really look forward to seeing his art on the new Batman book, The Dark Knight.

Next Up: Y: The Last Man writer Brian K. Vaughn takes over writing in The Tempest

Friday, October 15, 2010

S**t You Don't Know - 11

Dr. Paul Erdos was one of the most gifted mathematicians of all time with more than 1500 published papers to his credit.Erdos was born to a Hungarian-Jewish family in 1913. He founded the field of discrete mathematics, the basis of computer science. He lived as a homeless derelict, shunning material possessions because "property is nuisance" and traveling from lecture to lecture with a tatty suitcase containing all his meagre belongings. He had no interest in anything but numbers. He died aged 83 while attending a maths lecture in Warsaw. Erdos was repulse by human contact, even the accidental touch of another person and was appalled by the idea of sexual intercourse.

Comic Book ReCap

Ultimate X-Men vol. 7 - Blockbuster
I couldn't sleep last night so at about 2 in the morning I pulled out the next story and gave it a whirl. The Best thing about this comic is also probably it's biggest flaw.

Blockbuster sees Wolverine on the run from some sort of mercenary team who are trying to kill him. Along with Bendis coming over for the writing, so does his biggest name of Ultimate Spider-Man come over for a team-up. And Daredevil. Cuz wolverine isn't smart or tough enough to do it himself apparently. Through much running, stabbing, swinging, shooting and more running, turns out some government higher-up didn't like the fact that Wolverine was able to end the Weapon X program so they sent a team in to get revenge and kill him.... That's pretty mush all that happened. And the chick in charge kills herself before he can get any answers. And Jean Totally Phoenix-es out on some military dudes, killing 'em.

I love me some Brian Michael Bendis. Yes he gets wordy and does a lot of dialogue. But the best part of his writing is his dialogue. The man has a knack for writing it almost exactly how it would be said in real life. His dialogue is crisp and fluid and it makes it very easy to read. Which is the bad part. I read six issues of talking and guns going off and it really went nowhere. It didn't have enough story in to make a great six issues and it should have been maybe three. That was my main and pretty much only problem. David Finch's art was amazing as always. Bendis' writing was amazing as always. Just not much actual story. A really good filler that could go pretty much anywhere in the title's continuity

Next Up: more Bendis and Finch in New Mutants
(And yes, you are seeing correctly. Wolverine has been on all seven trade covers so far. That's what happens when you make as much money as he does)

Comic Book ReCap

Ultimate X-Men vol. 6 - Return of the King
Thanks to the involvement of the Ultimates, the X-Men are are the run and hunted by the government. Treatment on par with that of The Brotherhood, how has been growing. Magneto back in charge, they have been recruiting every mutant possible as he prepares to make the human race suffer. As the old story goes, though, the X-Men try to stop them at every chance while using it as a chance to maybe convince people that they are indeed separate from the Brotherhood. We find out that back in the Savage Land, as Cyclops was falling off a cliff, Wolverine did in fact let him go, trying to rid the competition for Jean Grey. Cyclops was then found by Magneto's men and brought to his asteroid base where he was able to stop his world-destroying plan long enough to signal the X-Men, thus they could save the day. Even as his "plan-b" of setting off a nuclear plant in Miami is under-way, Magneto finds that Jean, tapping into the Phoenix Force, just lifted the ground up and saved the day with all the other mutants Xavier helped "escape" from government holding. By end, Magneto is taken captive by SHIELD, placed into a plastic holding cell like the movie. Rogue and Nightcrawler join the X-Men. Cyclops is able to forgive Wolverine as he does not want them to turn into Xavier and Magneto. And the X-Men are now being funded by SHIELD, leaving Nick Fury to think they are more in control. Oh, and the homosexual innuendos from Colossus are much easier to spot now that I have the foresight to see they make him gay. Totally there the whole time. He even tries to profess his love for Wolverine to him when he thinks they are going to die.

This was a pretty awesome ending to a great run by Mark Millar. As easy as the story was to predict, it was awesome and almost everyone had some sort of a bad-ass moment. As much as I would have preferred more change in the "mutant dynamic" from the launch of a new universe, I am still happy with what Millar has done. It's really just a modern re-telling of old X-Men stories and opposed to making new ones which is the best way to think of it. I for one did not go in with that thought the first time around and it's much more coherent this time. I would definitely recommend reading this book so far, especially if you don't want to try the fifty years of continuity in the real book.

Up Next: New writer Brian Michael Bendis and new artist David Finch take over in Blockbuster

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Driving Sucks

And ya wanna know why? Because everyone feels some sort of entitlement to the road now. I don't mean angry people. I am way ahead on that list and yell at other drivers a lot and you should too. I'm talking about the people who can't be bothered to let other people drive on "their road". The people who will ride your ass because you're not fast enough for them even though you're already speeding. I'm talking about the people who speed up on someone because they had the audacity to pull into your lane, no matter how much room there was. I'm talking about the teenagers who speed down neighborhood streets where kids live cuz it's "cool to go fast" or the people who are more fixed on their phone conversation then they are to following the laws. And I say fuck those people.
I know we are all guilty of it at times and I sadly don't think it will ever stop, but come to terms with other people being around you. Realize that 99% of the time, where you are going in such a rush isn't actually more important than the lives of those around you. There is no need to try and squeeze between cars to try and zoom ahead and be one or two cars spaces sooner. That's literally a ten second difference at most then if you would have just waited.
People are stupid. Myself included. But I at least know I do stupid things which puts me miles ahead of all the other retards out there.

Comic Book ReCap

Ultimate X-Men vol. 5 - Ultimate War 1-4
After the ending of Hellfire and Brimstone, things only get worse for the X-Men. As a "prelude" to the next storyline, Ultimate War has The Ultimates going after the X-Men for the crime of terrorism. After finding out that Magneto is not dead, not only does the government consider Xavier and his X-Men collaborators with the Brotherhood but they have Intel that also says they have went into hiding (and only the guilty go hiding, right?). In the last story, Wolverine, Cyclops and a stowaway Kitty Pryde went to the Savage Land looking for the Brotherhood only to be "blown up" and us left with a cliffhanger. This mini brought Wolverine and Kitty back, but they claim Mr. Summers has killed in the blast and they couldn't find his body (which we all know can't be what happened). By story's end, Iceman returns to the X-Men (after nearly being killed by Proteus and being pulled out of Xavier's by his parents who then tried to sue...) and freezes almost everything, giving the X-Men a chance to escape. However, Xavier stays behind to be taken into the Ultimates' custody, trying to show he has nothing to hide and is not in league with the Brotherhood.
As well written and as much fun as this mini was, it felt like they took an issue of set-up and spread it out into a four-issue mini just for the sales. Though, bringing Iceman back, setting up Cyclops' "death" and giving Xavier to the Ultimates are pretty big deals, they were all "small" scenes in the mini and it really could have been just one issue. I liked it though. Millar is a great writer and as much as he's not every one's favorite, I really enjoy Chris Bachalo's art. Good beginning to what will hopefully be a great ending to Mark Millar's run
Up next: the eight part Return of the King.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Comic Book ReCap

Ultimate X-Men vol. 1-4
As stated earlier, I'ma try to go through all 100 issues of the now over Ultimate X-Men and I figure I would give ya my recaps and opinions. But I'll have to play some quick catch-up
Issues 1-6: The Tomorrow People
Pretty predictable start to a new concept, we see the X-Men as they have to take on Magneto and his Brotherhood. In the Ultimate Universe, the X-Men consist of Marvel Girl, Cyclops, Storm, Beast, Colossus and Iceman. Added to the mix in issue two is Wolverine but that's only because Magneto sent him in as an assassin at the end of issue one, with the task of infiltrating and killing. Thankfully he changes his mind after bangin' Marvel Girl and coming to think the Xavier probably has the right idea in this fight (funny how that's the order of things, huh?). After a quick switching of teams and them coming back to the X-Men, Cyclops must lead the team to the White House where Magneto has taken the president hostage and is going to kill him on national tv. But we all kinda know how it ends. Except in this one, Magneto is killed by Xavier.
Overall, great set-up. For the first story in an X-Men world, you sorta have to have Magneto be the baddie but for making things all new, Mark Millar did his job. Cool new take and a promising start.
Issues 7-12: Return to Weapon X
Can we guess where this is going? The X-Men are attacked by Weapon X and taken captive. Weapon X consists of Sabretooth, Juggernaut, Rogue and Nightcrawler, which makes for an interesting team. Weapon X is using the X-Men to lure back in Wolverine who is more than happy to make a visit.
This one was pretty weak in terms of a new take. Other than the team having two well known good-guys on it, the story was the same kinda stuff we get over in the regular book. Well written and well drawn, just nothing very new. However, this is where black Nick Fury made his first appearance so we do have that and in their experiments, Weapon X managed to turn Beast furry and blue so he's now "full circle".
Issues 13-20: World Tour
Issues 13 and 14 are the Gambit issues and I've already said my part for it so we move on to World Tour where Xavier takes the students on a world tour, promoting his new book about homo-superior and coexistence among everyone. But the tour is cut short when Xavier gets a call from ex-wife Moira Mactaggert, telling him their son Davis is missing.
I really enjoyed this story. Millar did a great job of turning a classic Claremont story (The Prometheus Saga) into something new and yet completely familiar. Charles' son takes over the bodies of others, while feeding off of them, leaving dead bodies everywhere when he needs a new one (which is what Prometheus did). We are introduced to both Davis and Moira but we also get the first appearance of Ultimate Psylock, who is a Brit, mutant detective trying to help. Turns out she is his last victim as she reveals to be him most of the back-half. As he destroys everything around him, Psylock is able to get enough control to tell Xavier to kill her so that he dies too. Colossus, having left the X-Men and doubting his worth for most of the story, is happy to listen and crushes them both with a car. and in the mist of all this, Xavier reveals that he didn't actually kill Magneto, only made him forget who he was. Cool take on a cool story. Millar seems to have a good knack for remaking the X-Men
Issues 21-25: Hellfire and Brimstone
This one kinda surprised me, but I'm not sure if it's for the good or bad. Marvel Girl (having spent time in an asylum before joining the team) begins to have her visions of an ancient, Egyptian Phoenix God again. As this is all going on, Beast, having broken up with Storm (cuz they were dating) has been talking to a nice mutant girl online. Only we know that it's Blob of the Brotherhood and he's only posing to try and infiltrate them again (it's actually a weird plot-thread). Much to Blob's surprise, Beast reveals that Magneto is still alive, and they go after him, wanting their leader back. And this is all interlaced with Jean having her "nightmares". However, as the X-Men go to a fancy dinner with the schools benefactors, the Hellfire Club, they find out it's much worse. Turns out the Hellfire Club worships the Phoenix Force and are using Jean as the vessel to bring it back. As the fire fills the room, and it appears the Phoenix has taken her over, she turns and kills all the Hellfire members (because they are trying to kill her friends, so why wouldn't she). Somehow, Xavier calms her down by convincing her the Phoenix isn't real and that she's just losing control of her powers. We know otherwise, but it gets the job done. It goes from bad to worse, though, as after this, the sky fills with metal objects spelling "Thank You Charles". Magneto is back.
I think I like this story. I liked that he downplayed the "big" story of the Phoenix and just moved on. I'm pretty sure it does come back done the line, but it didn't stay to long to start. I am however getting a little tired of Andy Kubert's art. It's not horrible but he looks more and more rushed each issue and they probably should have used more fill-in artists.

Commercials Can Still Be Funny

I actually was shown this as an ad before another video on youtube and it was awesome.

NB of the Week

The Thanos Imperative #5 (of 6)
The Big New York Comic Con was this weekend and I came across this little blurb. A fan asked Marvel how come they were even considering taking the cosmic characters off of the table to which they replied:
"When you see how Thanos Imperative ends, it would be impossible to have [Nova and Guardians of the Galaxy] going on. When this ends, you'll see who's left standing. We've advertised this as the end of the Marvel Cosmic Universe as you know it, and that's the truth."
As timing has it, the second to last issue of this mini was then released four days later and once again it knocked my socks off. As I have said before, the Cancerverse is trying to take over everything but they can't do it unless they can take out the Avatar of Death, Thanos, who has joined forces with the heroes trying to stop them.
Everything is laid out on the table here. Nova goes into the Cancerverse to join the last battle against the Revengers, Thanos makes his move and reveals his big plans (that mother-flarker!) and everything looks bleak for the good-guys. I am simultaneously saddened that this is all coming to an end while excited to see what is going to happen and who makes it out. This book has been one of the best books out there for it's whole duration and I think it may be one of, if not the best story of the year. If you can read everything from Annihilation on, amazing. Do it. If you want to start with Thanos Imperative, go right ahead. Things are always better when taken with the whole picture, but I don't see how you can read this book and not be impressed at how bad-ass they make these "c-list" characters. This is grade-a writing and you would be stupid to miss it.

-And as a great runner-up, Mark Millar's new Superior. Imagine Tom Hanks in Big, only with multiple sclerosis and then super-powers when he grows. And a space monkey. Awesome book and it will probably be another movie just like Kick-Ass and Nemesis.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Clif-Notes: The Human Centipede - First Sequence

When I first heard of The Human Centipede, I was elated. Sadly. How could this movie disappoint me? What's that you say? You don't know what The Human Centipede is? Well, it would be my pleasure to catch you up to speed.
Two American girls are traveling through Europe when they get a flat tire and get stuck in the middle of nowhere. As they leave to find help, they come across a house. Oh, but it's not just any house. This is the house of a mad German surgen who has plans to make a human centipede: Three people joined anus to mouth, sharing one digestive track.
Of course I was excited! How could a sick man like me not be excited for this?! But then I watched it and I cried a little bit. This may be one of the worst movies I have seen in a while. Nothing happened! Half way through the movie is when he finally starts hooking them together and you really see nothing. The story is still pretty messed up but it was crap. The front cover has a blurb from Eli Roth saying "I honestly got sick, and that's the highest compliment I can give a horror film." and it just makes me hate him AND think he's a weak little girl.
Sadly, this is the first of three movies based on this and I can only hope that they beef up the next ones and actually make me sick while watching it.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Only Good Gambit is Now a Dead Gambit

Anyone who knows me and the X-Men knows that I hate Gambit. I actually think he's a pretty cool character but he's never use for anything worth a damn except for "I love Rogue but she can't touch me" and it's complete crap.
However, a few weeks ago my friend Derek got the trade for Ultimate X-Men where they bring in Ultimate Cable which (hope it's not a spoiler) turns out to be a future Wolverine. Pretty cool story and take and in talking to him about it, it made me want to go back and reread my run of Ultimate X-Men. Come issue 13, enter Ultimate Gambit. A street performer who uses his charging powers to woo the women. Howver, after a little girl watches her parents murder and is on the run from the guy who did it, he becomes her protector. While sleeping in an abondonded subway car, Gambit wakes to find her missing.

Needless to say, he's not to happy with it and the street urchin goes hunting, making sure anyone who tries to stop him pays. Finally coming up on the villianous Hammerhead, he takes care of business the only way he knows how.

And I have to ask why can't he be this cool in the real x-books? This Gambit in two issues showed more character and heart then they ever gave him in the 20 years he's been around. My suggestion is that Marvel start taking their own ideas and change him. If only so I can like him.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

NB of the Week

Ultimate Thor #1
Overall, this week didn't really have that one book that blew me away. A good group of good comics, but nothing amazing. Which made this week's NB not as NB-tastic as the others. But I suppose it's all relative.
Anyway, in the Ultimate Thor mini from Marvel, we get a history of the mysterious Thor figure that appeared out of nowhere. Originally, he was believed to be nothing more than a crazy dude who stole some technology from the lab he was a janitor for. We later came to find out that was all a ruse that his half-brother Loki played on the world. We now get some insight into that "crazy person" and how that all came to be set-up. As Thor is in a cell on England, psychiatrist Donald Blake is brought in to see if he can find the problem this "Thorlief Golmen" is having. The following dialogue is pretty awesome:
"It is not delusion or madness you'll find here, doctor, but purpose and destiny. Professor Braddock will have told you that I am Thorlief Golmen- -this is incorrect. I am Thor, God of Thunder... And I will be called the name my father gave me."
Thor in any universe is spelled with a "bad" and spelled with an "ass".

Monday, October 4, 2010

I Start a Feud with Adam

Zack Snyder has been grabbed as the new director of the new Superman movie and Adam does not think him fit for the helm. And I disagree with him.
As much as Snyder may bring a new "feel" to a Superman movie, I highly doubt that it will turn into just another Batman. First and foremost, David Goyer and Christopher Nolan on story will be amazing. These guys know their comics, not to mention that Goyer has history writing for DC (and writing with Geoff Johns over there) and Nolan is smart enough to know that a Batman movie will not work for a Superman movie. Almost any director aside (except Tim Burton), this movie should have a great story.
Throw in Snyder and I already have an NB for it. I may have a little different view because I have seen Snyder's Legend of the Guardians, but this man can direct a movie. 300. Watchmen. Sucker Punch. Dawn of the Dead. Whatever. This man has an amazing eye for movement and action and Superman may just be a perfect match. As much as I liked Superman Returns, they want something different. They want something that fits today's world and not that of 1978 and Snyder just may be the one to help do it.
And there's no way it could be a worse choice than Darren Aronofsky.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Clif-Notes: Case 39 & Let Me In

Case 39
Renee Zellweger sucks. Bradley Cooper wasn't in it long enough. The movie was shit.

Let Me In
I remember finishing watching the Swedish movie Let The Riught One In and thinking "what the hell was the point?". It looked great and had great acting. The atmosphere and mood was dark and grim and that was great. I just didn't really get the story. So when an American version was lit, I was a little skeptical. Then the trailers came out and I was intrigued. It looked like it had potential. Come 3:30 in the morning, when I finished watching it, my thought was "Oh. So that was the point."
This movie was pretty awesome. It was able to capture the same dark feel that the original produced and it was even able to explain things to me better. And I hate vampires. This movie moved beyond the cliched vampire story and into one of friendship and love, which was a pretty amazing feat in my mind. One of the best compliments I can give it, is that it makes me want to watch the original again, if only to see if I can pull the same outcome.
I would recommend seeing this one if the premise intrigues you (duh). It is very much a genre movie and I don't see it opening the eyes to movie-goers everywhere about how amazing these movies can be. But it was definitely worth watching.