Wednesday, September 29, 2010

NB of the Week

Powers #6
Brian Michael Bendis' name first became know to me in 2000 when I was introduced to the then Image title Powers; a book about the cops and crime surrounding the super-powered people of the city and the effects of said people. Awesome stuff. Been awesome since the get-go and I still love this book. Two relaunches and 75 issues later, it's still holding steam.
We start this new story-line with Detective Walker (former and now again super-powered cop, though people don't know his powers are back) and his newest partner Enki Sunrise coming across a death scene involving what they think is a wolf-man, though it turns out he was just a furry (you should look it up if you are unaware of what it refers to. Much funny banter later, we close the book off with another murder of one of the Goldens (immortal super-beings who claim to be Gods. You can see why one being killed would set off alarms). At the crime scene and in the last page, we get the surprise introduction of the FBI agent taking over and it's none other than Walker's old and first partner Deena Pilgrim.
Ya see, Pilgrim was the star of the title for years with Walker, with many fights and rocky situations between the two. After a few murder suspicions and accusations gone wrong, Pilgrim found herself tangled up in a weird case where powers were being transferred like STD's, in which she was given some. Everything went to Hell and she ended up running off, coming and going a few times. Which is where the new partner Sunrise came in. To have her show up suddenly to a case Walker is working with an FBI badge was ridiculous! I'm super stoked to see where Bendis is going with this. It's a sweet book and y'all should read it.

-And as a side bonus, the new Green Arrow came out and the cover is amazing. This guys has made all 4 covers of Arrow worthy of framing.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Coolest Lady Ever

My friend Aaron showed me these videos (because I think he and his co-workers don't ever actually work and just look up stupid crap all day) and they are hilarious. This lady is awesome. And I'm not a bit fan of those dumb "remix" videos where they just put music on it but I really like this one and it keeps getting stuck in my head.
Watch the regular interview first and then the music one. Awesome stuff.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Clif-Notes: Legend of the Guardians

I want you guys to look at this poster that was released for this movie. Take a good look at it. Now tell me how that makes you want to see a movie based on a young-readers book about Owls trying to rule each others Kingdom. I don't think you can. And the reason for that is because it doesn't show that Zack Snyder made his animated directing debut with this movie.
Snyder has proven to me that he is one of the top film-makers in the industry with this movie. I was blown away by this one. In fact, though it was only last night that I watched it, I think it may be my favorite animated movie of the year. Toy Story 3 can suck it. This move was visually amazing (which was the only real thing it had going for it in the trailers, in my book) and very dark. I think this movie will end up scaring kids. Just the right amount of cute and campy with mean and edgy.
I read that Star Wars is a big influence on Snyder (who knows if it's true but I like how it sounds) and I can actually see it in parts. Part Star Wars and part Lord of the Rings. It even reminds me of Titan AE in that it's a more adult story and mood, hidden behind the animation and acceptance of a child's film. I fully recommend seeing this move. I didn't see it in 3D but I can only imagine how it would like in that and I will gladly go see it again to see it that way.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Clif-Notes: You Again

I really only have myself to blame. I didn't think this movie looked good but against my better judgment, I watched it last night. It was either that or WallStreet: Money Never Sleeps and I actually thought this one looked better than that one. But I will never know.
You Again tells the story of Marni (Kristen Bell), who finds out that after turning her life and self-image around from high school, he brother is now marrying the same girl (Joanna, played by Odette Yustman) who made her life hell during that period. Worse so, Joanna's only family and Aunt (Sigourney Weaver) had a bad, high-school fall-out with her best friend who also happens to be Marni's mother (Jamie Lee Curtis). And the chaos and bitterness and jealousy ensues...
Don't watch this movie. I guess there are gonna be some people who like this. I watched it with Heather at work and she didn't hate it but I almost lost my mind. I laughed twice. Once at the crazy Tim character and once at Betty White. That was it. I cringed more than anything. Bell and Yustman were hot at always, so I suppose it had that. Whatever. Skip this movie.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Two NB's in One Week: Ultimate Spidey and Thor

As I argued with myself over which one was the better moment this week, I decided that I was gonna name 'em both since the NB's that followed were for different reasons. We'll start with the smaller one...
Ultimate Spider-Man #14:
This issue gave me what was probably the best single moment of the week. As Aunt May and the rest of her household found out last issue, Spider-Man has been replaced by "The Chameleon". Maybe. There are actually two of them, a brother and a sister, and they have the same shape-shifting powers that the normal Chameleon has so I can only assume that's what Bendis is going for. But I digress. Iceman and Human Torch go after the impostor and after following him back to his hideout, his sister and the real Peter Parker, they get the jump on 'em. Ice Man grabs the girl, encasing her in a block of ice, but Johnny goes a tad more theatrical. Busting through the floor behind the Fake Pete, he begins to burn all of the oxygen out of the air, rendering FP unconscious.... It actually doesn't read as bad-assed as it was when I read it, but trust me, it's there. And now onto the bigger one...

Thor #615:
After the whole Straczynski crap that went down, Thor started losing some steam. Kieron Gillen Took over the reigns and it wasn't that he was bad on it, because he wasn't. It was much better than I thought it would be. It just wasn't the level it was before. This issue we get the new creative team of Matt Fraction and Pasqual Ferry. Ferry has done art on Ultimate FF, Adam Strange and Action Comics over the years while Fraction has been writing Uncanny X-Men and Invincible Iron Man lately. His Iron Man has been great while his Uncanny run has been very much less than impressive so I was a bit hesitant. And I take that back with this issue. Fraction already seems to have a great grasp on Thor and Asgard. His first arc begins with a man trying to warm Volstagg of a coming doom. As Asgard now resides on Midgard (or Earth as we call it), that puts two of the nine worlds that Asgardians believe in on the same world, leaving one space empty. And as cosmic balance goes, that spot will be filled by something and that something looks like it's going to be a lot of trouble.
Great start to a new run on the book. Definitely gives me hope that Thor will move back to the top of my favorites list. If any of you read comics still, I would say to try it. However, I will now just tell you to go over to Hastings and read it there. It's cheaper.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Sucker Punch

Ever since I saw an extended trailer at Con, I have been super stoked for this movie and it's not even out until March. I don't even know how many times I have watched this trailer, but I will watch it a lot more and wanted to share it with everyone. So watch and Enjoy and Be excited for March to come.
(Not sure why it says 3D cuz I didn't think it was. Either was, the trailer is not.)

Friday, September 17, 2010

Triple Clif-Notes: Devil - Easy A - The Town

Got three of the four movies that came out today watched so here are the reviews. I know I ramble on but so what? It's my blog. I do what I want.

In my opinion, this movie looked like it could be pretty good. I sadly think that the only reason people are crapping on it is because they put Shyamalan's name across the top. However, he only came up with the story. He didn't write or direct it, so ya can't really blame him for anything.
Devil tells the story of five people on an elevator, when shit starts going wrong and they all turn on each other. One of them appears to be the Devil, having some fun before he takes them to Hell. The movie definitely had some bad moments of acting and of dialogue, but it turned out pretty decent. Nothing spectacular to make it a "must see", but a good flick. If you're interested, I would say see it, but it's one that you could wait for.

Easy A

I was very surprised by this movie. Easy A stars Emma Stone (House Bunny, Zombieland) and is about her character dealing with all the talk that begins swirling in her high school after she pretends to have sex with her gay buddy to make people like him. Word spreads, more people need her help and she is suddenly the school floozy.
This movie was really funny. And I have no problem admitting it. It turned out to be one of those movies like House Bunny where it seems like only one kind of audience should really like it but it's a much more universal story than I thought it would be. It's been a while since I laughed this much at a movie and I recommend watching it. Great stuff.

The Town

The Town stars Ben Affleck as a robber who, after falling for a hostage he and his gang take, has to juggle the life he has with the life he wants.
This movie pretty much just blew me away. I thought this movie looked like it could be real good and it far exceeded that. To tell you how much I liked it, I even thought Affleck was great in it. Everyone was great in it. There was not one person in this movie that I thought did anything less than great. Affleck should actually stop acting in any movie he doesn't write or direct because those seem to be the only ones he's good in. This is only the third movie he (co)wrote behind Good Will Hunting and Gone Baby Gone and his second time directing, with Gone Baby Gone being his first. I never saw Good Will Hunting but I loved Gone and from the sound of things, Good was great too. Not too shabby of company to be with. I have a feeling that it won't be, but don't be surprised if this movie gets talk for the Oscars. And if you liked Jeremy Renner in The Hurl Locker, you're love him in this one. I think he may have been my favorite part but that's a hard choice to make. He at least had my favorite scene (which involves a shoot-out but it's toward the end so I won't tell ya any more. Go see this one. I know it's not going to be every one's favorite, but this is one I would say is worth going out and paying the money to see.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

NB of the Week

Brightest Day #10
By the end of Blackest Night, 13 people had been brought back from the dead and (we're told)for very specific reasons. The 26 issue, bi-weekly series Brightest Day is telling us why and the bigger picture that it all represents.
NB of the Week comes courtesy of Aquaman. I like Aquaman but he hasn't been used in anything kind of "heroic" light for a very long time and I'm hoping this brings him into it. Aquaman has come to find out not only that Mera was originally sent to kill him, but that Black Manta has a son who is the key to the war between land and water. Now he has to find this new "Aqualad" before Manta can. As his adoptive father tries to take him to safety and explain things, Jackson Hyde is attacked by Manta. Wielding some nice and fancy water powers, he's able to hold him off for a bit but he's no match for Manta's long history of violence. After claiming "He is nothing but another man I have killed", Manta shoots one of his mini harpoons at the face of Jackson's father only to have a green, gloved hand reach out and grab it just before it hits.
"Manta." he says as he snaps the projectile in his hand. "I've been waiting for this"
Welcome home, King of the Seas. It's good to have ya back.

Clif-Notes: Ip Man

I love me some martial arts movies. Love 'em. Even when they suck I love 'em. Plot, acting, direction. Nothing really matter in these movies except for how much ass someone can kick and how fast they can do it and Ip Man has it. It has it all, in fact. One of the few martial arts flicks that has great everything.
Ip Man is about the story behind the famous teacher of Bruce Lee, Ip Man (last name first, first name last) and his battle against the Japanese in the Sino-Japanese war in 1937 (and for eight years after, in case any history buffs try to correct me). Basic plot has the Japanese Army wanting Ip Man to teach there men, while he is all about the honor of the Chinese and refuses. Donnie Yen is a great martial artist and deserves much more recognition here in the states then what he has. Dude studied Wing Chun (Man's fighting form) for nine months before hand and that's fast for this stuff. Amazing fights and great acting and story. If you are a fan of these movies, it's a must. If you're not, just watch it for the fighting.
(And like most martial arts films now, there is wire work. Sorry if that bothers you)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

My Must Read Retelling of Amazing Spider-Man

I want to first give good and fair warning to everyone who is reading this that I shall be using some harsh and cruel language in describing Joe Quesada's current attempt at Spider-Man. It will be mean and probably very vulgar at parts so don't say I didn't warn ya about this. Continue at your own peril....
Fuck Joe Quesada. Fuck him hard. In case you don't remember, Mr. Quesada a number of years ago (almost 4) decided that Peter and MJ's marriage needed to be dissolved. In order to do that, he created the "it's magic, we don't need to explain it" dilemma in which Mephisto made it so that they were never married, in exchange for saving Aunt May's life (which had been attacked after Peter revealed to the world that he was Spider-Man). After this, Amazing Spider-Man went to three times a month and things have never been the same since. In a bad way.
Well, all these years later, Mr. Quesada himself took over writing duties in order to tell of how the now-altered-past had lead into the present we were now reading, in the storyline One Moment In Time. MJ and Peter (not together in any relationship anymore) decide it's time to make with the therapy and talk things out with one another. So they start with the marriage.
After Spidey thwarted a robbery by Electro, one of his henchmen was able to escape custody, when he was originally suppose to be taken in. How does this happen? A bird flies into the cop car, hitting the unlock button just enough to let him hit the door a few times, fully unlocking it. That man later knocks Spidey unconscious, thus he is unable to make his wedding, making MJ look like a fool and scorning her something fierce. I shit you not. This is how come Pete did not marry MJ. She tells him she can't deal with this life and since he won't give it up, she's gone. This is when she then went on her modeling voyage. Once back, she confesses to Peter that she will always love him but because she won't have a family/kids due to the life he leads, there is no need to get married. "If that's no longer a part of the equation, then marriage is just a piece of paper". I got news for ya, ya stupid fuck: that's all marriage is even with kids. It's definition doesn't change just cuz Pete doesn't wear a rubber. She also tells him that he can't ask her to marry him again unless he's willing to give it up... When the fuck did Mary Jane become a little bitch?! Fucker was unconscious! It's not like he didn't want to get married! Bitch!
Anywho, time moves forward to the Civil War and when Aunt May got shot. At one point, the doctor's couldn't revive her and were giving up when Peter comes in, pounding on her chest. The doctor's couldn't help, but his fists did. How? Love. The fucking doctor tells him that it fucking worked because he fucking loves her. Guess that's one thing medical school can't teach ya. And the bad guys don't stop at Aunt May. They then go after MJ and her Aunt Anna. And that's when MJ draws the line. That's when she knew she couldn't be with Peter. Because it's her putting the people she loves in harm's way because she continues to be with him.... Fucking what?! It's her fault? This dumb bitch version of Mary Jane is really pissing me off. It feels like Joe Quesada is doing everything he can to prove to us that Peter is better off without her. If ya made her a hooker with herpes and a dick I wouldn't want him with her either. Don't see that happening. And that's because it fucking shouldn't! Because you shouldn't change a character's personality after 30 goddamn years!
And to end everything off, he even writes out fucking Mephisto! Now, Peter just convinces Doc Strange, Reed Richards and Stark to make the world forget he's Spider-Man the same way they made the world forget that The Sentry existed. But as one last kick to my nuts, Pete can't stand MJ forgetting everything so he grabs her at the last minute and they are the only two people who remember his identity and anything associated with it. And guess what? MJ then gets all sad and mopey because she wishes he would have made her forget too. That she's just not strong enough. In present time, she then wishes Pete luck, telling him that the right girl is out there and he'll find her some day. "Today, my best friend, the best person I've ever known -- set me free.". Fuck that. I almost wish they would have just turned her into a druggie hooker like they did Karen Page. Then I could at least have good reason to be pissed while feeling sorry for her. But now she's just a cry-baby bitch and I'm done with it.
Fuck Joe Quesada. Fuck Amazing Spider-Man. Fuck Mary Jane Watson. And Fuck Joe Quesada again, just so he knows how much I hate them all.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Clif-Notes: Resident Evil - Afterlife

As bad as the acting or effects were at points in the first three Evil movies, I really dig 'em. Fun movies and Milla Jovovich is super hot and is even hotter when she's kicking ass. Add in the 3D for this one, and I'm pretty much already sold.

If you have seen any of the other's, you're won't be surprised by anything in this one. They pretty much follow the same formula as the others, which is a little sad but I guess "when it's not broke" and what-have-you and I would probably like it less if it didn't have cheese. I enjoyed it. And the 3D looked great. It's another movie that I would say didn't need to be in 3D but if you're going for it, shoot it in it and make it look good and they did all that. So I give it my approval. You can easily wait until the regular 2D dvd comes out, but if you liked the others, I would say go see it 3D.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

NB of the Week

We all know I do my weekly comics and that it pretty much runs my life, so here's a new, weekly thing that will let you know what I'm really diggin' each batch. Let's see how long it goes before I start forgetting to do it.

Let's try a "quick" recap of the years before this so that you can sorta be up to date:

2006 - Annihilation: Old-school FF baddie Annihilus wants to destroy everything and everyone to make more room for his domain of the negative zone. He powers the Annihilation Wave by syphoning power from Galactus, whom he has imprisoned. Races and Empires are obliterated, including all the Nova Corps members (except Earth's Richard Rider) and their home world of Xandar. Drax the Destroyer (essentially the Avatar of Life) kills Thanos (the Avatar of Death). By end, Galactus resumes his power to stop the Wave, and Nova rips out Annihilus' innards, killing him. Ronan the Accuser becomes the new leader of the Kree after the Supreme Intelligence is killed.

2007 - Nova gets his own series, dealing with being the only one to deal with and contain the Worldmind; the "being" that every member of the Corps got their powers from.

2007-08 - Annihilation Conquest: With space in full rebuild mode, everyone is playing nice and trying to make something outta the mess left behind. Perfect opportunity for the Phalanx to come back and take over. Peter Quill, now called Star-Lord once again (old-school reference), puts a rag-tag group together to help, Nova brings in another recruit to the Corps only to have her die, Phyla-Vell (daughter of Mar-Vell/Captain Marvel) is now the new Quasar after the first one died in the first Annihilation, along with Ronan all go after the Phalanx and find out that Ultron is the real master-mind behind them, having taken control of the Phalanx. Adam Worlock is reborn once again and helps stop the invasion, and helps pave the way for...

2008 - The Guardians of the Galaxy are reformed with members Star-Lord, Drax, Phyla, Rocket Raccoon, Gamora, Groot, Major Victory from the original Guardians and Adam Warlock. They help protect the cosmos along with Nova who still has his book.

2009 - War of Kings: A lot of egos come out and everyone thinks they should be the higher power over everyone else. Third Summers brother and new Emperor of the Shi'ar, Vulcan and King of the Inhumans Black Bolt go to war with each other, pitting empire against empire. Both lives are lost and the backlash opens of The Fault, a tear in space and time. Through this tear, we find the "Cancerverse". A version of the Marvel universe where Death has been killed and pretty much everyone is a dark version of our heroes. And they're kinda dicks too. Over in Guardians, Adam Warlock has become his old, dark version of Magus (more cool old-school) and is helping his "master" from the Cancerverse come through. However, the Guardians have a secret weapon in a newly made and reborn Thanos. Finding a universe that does have an Avatar of Death, they must kill it and take over. Which lead us into...

2010 - The Thanos Imperative: Our space heroes must ally themselves with one of the most evil villains that the Marvel Universe has come across in the hope of stopping an evil Captain Marvel and his Revengers (all from the Cancerverse, if you didn't get that). Everybody and their mom is joining the fight, trying everything they can to stop the Cancerverse from taking over. You name a character that has to do with space and they are there. Traveling to the Cancerverse, Star-Lord, his Guardians and Thanos are hunting down the "source" of the problem. Drax, being an "avatar of life" in a universe where there is no Death, he becomes uncontrollable and Kills Thanos. End of issue 3...

Ya still with me? Good. My NB of the week comes from

The Thanos Imperative #4
Nova has put together what the fans are calling the Cosmic Avengers to try and fight Marvel directly. Included are Nova, Quasar (also back from the dead), Beta Ray Bill, Gladiator (new Emperor of the Shi'ar), Ronan and Silver Surfer (back to being the Herald of Galactus). This fight is bad-ass. These guys tear an new asshole into everything they see! If Marvel decided to do a fifth Avengers title of these guys, I'm there. But they are no match for this universe's Captain Marvel as he is able to hold them off long enough to find out that Thanos is back in their own universe and he high-tails it outta there. Back with the Guardians, Thanos, after being blown-up to nothing but a skeleton, regrows his body, finding out that Death has left him. "I can never return to the side of my true love". This dude is gonna be pissed. And to prove that point, he kills Drax. Much as I loved this newer take of Drax, Thanos is a bad mother and it was awesome! The issue ends with the Revengers back in the Cancerverse, gunning for Thanos and the Guardians, making me pee myself and giddy for the next issue.

And in case you wanted to read it all, everything is out there and collected in one form or another and I absolutely would recommend it. Marvel's space scene has never been this great.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

S**t You Don't Know - 10

In 1994 a Seventh Day Adventist minister persuaded nine people sharing a canoe with him to follow Jesus Christ's example and walk with him across the water into the middle of Lake Victoria, Tanzania. They all drowned.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Double Dose of Clif-Notes: Salt & The American

I saw a few movies this week that I am just getting to telling ya about, so let's start with the rants:
Even though it took me long enough to get off my butt and see this one, I would say it was worth it. The story, for those who live under a rock, is about CIA agent Evelyn Salt and how she must deal with a Russian defective who claims that she is a Russian spy, planted in America to kill the Russian Prime Minister. When his neural scans read that he is telling the truth, Agent Salt sets off to make things right and save her husband, even though everyone thinks she really is a spy.
Originally written for a male lead (with Tom Cruise actually backing out from it), I'm glad they changed it to a female. Even though that seems to be the new thing for action movies, Jolie was pretty bad-ass and it's pretty fun to see a small, frail-looking lady kicking the asses of dudes everywhere she goes. And hot. There was nothing in this movie that makes it an absolutely must see, but very few films this summer have been (at least in my opinion). However, this movie was fun and awesome and that's a pretty good combo for me. You may want to wait until it's out on dvd to rent, but odds are you won't be disappointed if ya have to spend some extra money for the theater.

The American
When I first saw a trailer for this, my first thought was, "Great. George Clooney is trying to prove that he can be a good actor and a bad-ass" to which I usually think "no" to both. Don't get me wrong, he's not horrible, but he's just not my cup of tea. The American follows Clooney as he is fulfilling one last job as a hitman before he tries to leave the game (which always works out so great for people, right?). His last task is to help make a weapon for a client so that she can assassinate someone. While there, Clooney meets a prostitute who makes him want to actually and fully leave and stay in Italy with her (which always works out so great for people, right?).
To be up front with ya about it, this movie was very slow. There were some good cat-and-mouse scenes and some good looking action here-and-there and one scene where George Clooney was a total bad-ass (never thought I would say that statement), but it was a slow, character piece. And I thought it was great. They were able to match the pace with the story and I was with it the whole time. Very surprised by how much I actually liked this movie. Biggest compliment I can give it is that it makes me want to watch other Clooney movies. That is how much I was impressed. While it is one that could wait for renting, I would recommend seeing it whenever you can. One of the better surprises of the year for me.

Clif-Notes: The Hunger Games

When I stole CliffsNotes, It was with the intent to give my thoughts on things I watched, heard, listened to or whatever the media may be. Just so happens I usually only watch movies. So here's my first Clif-Notes Book

While in Seattle, I knew I had a long drive back so I stopped over to a Barnes&Noble and decided to give the new paperback of The Hunger Games a try. If it sucked, I could hide that I had ever read it, so I really had nothing to lose.

In case you have never heard of it (or are a single, strait man), The Hunger Games is a story that takes place in an America where an "evil government" rules all, and it's divided into twelve districts. There was first thirteen, but when District 13 tried to rebel, they were all "dealt with", 13 was no more and the other 12 are now forced to part take in The Hunger Games as a reminder. One boy and one girl from each district are thrown into a "last man standing" battle royale with the others, with the winner taking food, money and all that jazz back with them to their district.

Set-up over.

Katniss from District 12 volunteers to take her 12 year-old sister's place after she is chosen and it's up to her take survive the killings and make it back to her sister, mom and best (male)friend, Cale.

I was attracted to this book pretty much because of the Japanese book Battle Royale, which is really the same kinda premise. By books end, I will admit that I actually liked the book, which is really sad. Katniss did nothing this whole book. She ran through the trees, knocked a bee's nest on some guys, knocked some apples on some explosions, ran through more trees, won the games and sorta fell in love with a dude along the way. She did shoot a guy in the neck but that was really it. But I still liked. I will actually end up reading the last two for some reason. And it's a quick read too so if anybody has a couple of free days, I would recommend giving it a try.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Clif-Notes: Machete

I just got out of watching this movie and I am totally jacked! This movie was a blast from start to finish. You will not read many critics' reviews that say it was good but they are stupid and you should trust me more. Nothing but cheesy awesome-ness the whole way. Let me tell you the first scene to give you a hint as to the movie it was:

Machete is leading a group of Federales against Steve Seagal (yeah, Steven Seagal). As he and his partner crash through some armed guards and into the house, his partner is of course the only one who gets shot up and dies. Machete then proceeds to sternly walk through the house with only his name-sake weapon, cutting as many people as they can throw at him. At one point, after being "surrounded" by three men, he simply twirls in a circle, beheading all of them in one, graceful swoop. He then walks into a room, to find a naked chick on a bed (at which point cliched porn music plays), almost waiting for him. Throwing her over his shoulder, he sternly attempts to walk out of the house. As he stands there with this naked chick (now let down and standing in front of him), she begins to try and seduce him, which can never end well. And it doesn't. She takes his machete and stabs him through, sending him to the ground, still stark naked. She then reaches into her who-ha, pulls out a cell phone and calls Steven Seagal into the room, telling him that Machete is taken care of. But do not fret, for Seagal promptly has her shot in the head. Still naked.

That's maybe the first five minutes. And it only went uphill for me. I know this is not going to be every body's cup of proverbial tea, but if you are sick and demented like I am, you will love it. So go see it.
(And there's a lot of boobs, in case I didn't mention that, including Lindsay Lohan's. Because that's something new, right?)

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I Need More Money.

I was looking at placing an order on Amazon at some point in the near future (which seems to usually be as far as this plan goes) and I was making a mental list of what books I had been waiting on to get and this is my list and their prices:
Invincible Ultimate Collection vol. 5 - $23.09
The Walking Dead vol. 12 - $10.19
Scalped vol. 1 - $9.99
Scalped vol. 2 - $10.19
Scalped vol. 3 - #12.23
Scalped Vol. 4 - $10.19
Scalped vol. 5 - $10.19
Scalped vol. 6 - $10.19
Scalped vol. 7 - $12.14
Starman Omnibus 2 - $31.49
Starman Omnibus 3 - $31.49
Starman Omnibus 4 - $31.49
Starman Omnibus 5 - $31.49
Chew vol. 2 - $9.35
Dexter By Design - $10.17

Which when added up is a total of $263.23.
That's an ass-load of money. So I'm setting up a fund for anyone who wants to help. I call it the Clifton Has No Life And Needs More Comics To Replace A Social Life Fund. Or CHNLANMCTRASLF for short. Drop me a line if you want to help. It all goes to a good cause.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Best U2 I Have Ever Heard

(I couldn't be more pleased to present this as my 100th post. Thanks to all you nerds for reading all the crap I come up and bitch about. And now onto the ranting...)
The New Disturbed album came out yesterday and I was more than happy to buy it. Not fully through it, but I'm lovin' what I've heard so far. However, in burning my friend Derek a copy, I came across a hidden track. I can't tell you how (sadly)happy I was. Every odd-numbered album has had a remake on it and this one looked as though it did not. And then the hidden track. Looks like Adam was right the whole time: Disturbed really is the rock version of U2.


As any other male could understand, I have fallen for little miss Katy Perry. She is absolutely Zooey Deschanel with a porn star's body, which is probably why I like her more. Anywho, I was listening to her new cd the other day (yeah, you read that right) and I came across this song. Like all her other ones, it's pretty stupid but they always get stuck in my head and this one was the worst. And it's really dirty so I'm sure that helped too. But here it is. Give it a listen and then proceed to make fun of me for it. I understand.