When I first heard of The Human Centipede, I was elated. Sadly. How could this movie disappoint me? What's that you say? You don't know what The Human Centipede is? Well, it would be my pleasure to catch you up to speed.
Two American girls are traveling through Europe when they get a flat tire and get stuck in the middle of nowhere. As they leave to find help, they come across a house. Oh, but it's not just any house. This is the house of a mad German surgen who has plans to make a human centipede: Three people joined anus to mouth, sharing one digestive track.
Of course I was excited! How could a sick man like me not be excited for this?! But then I watched it and I cried a little bit. This may be one of the worst movies I have seen in a while. Nothing happened! Half way through the movie is when he finally starts hooking them together and you really see nothing. The story is still pretty messed up but it was crap. The front cover has a blurb from Eli Roth saying "I honestly got sick, and that's the highest compliment I can give a horror film." and it just makes me hate him AND think he's a weak little girl.
Sadly, this is the first of three movies based on this and I can only hope that they beef up the next ones and actually make me sick while watching it.