Monday, August 25, 2014
Clif-Notes: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
This movie was pretty badass.
People can clamor and complain all they want (and it's been done in droves) but this movie is what summer action should be. Was there hokey writing? Yes sir. Acting worthy of Oscars? Definitely not. Giant ninja turtle mutants who kick ass and fight for our safety? Bet the house on it. Here's my take on it: if you went into this movie wanting anything more than just fun action, you have sadly misled yourself and are living a lie. I'm a big Turtles fan. Probably so much that it's possible I'm slightly blind to the quality that others may see but I loved this movie. The original movies weren't that great. Let's all take a look back and remember how cheesy those were:
Jose Canseco jokes between Raph and Casey (among many other sports puns).
A trench coat blinds people to seeing a walking turtle with a giant shell.
Casey giving off after-school-special advice for the young kids of the Foot.
"I made a funny!"
Secret of the Ooze was littered with horrible one-liners from every character and even background characters.
We loved these movies not for their quality but for how awesome and fun it was for us to watch. The cartoon is gimmicky as they all were back then. The movies and poor and not well made. But we love them all. Yet when this movie comes out, everybody wants to bitch and moan about the casting of Megan Fox or how this isn't how the Turtles look (because we all know what mutant turtles are suppose to look like) but nobody wants to praise how awesome the fighting was or how the characterizing of the Turtles and even Splinter were spot on. Aesthetics may have been different than what we knew growing up but too f-ing bad. Leo was stern. Raph was angry and forceful. Donnie was a chatty lab geek. Mikey was dumb and funny. This is the Turtles family I've grown up with and I can absolutely let go of all the movie problems that were outside of that.
Except Swiss Army Shredder. That was pretty dumb.