Friday, August 19, 2011

Clif-Notes: Conan the Barbarian

As a sad start, I must admit that I have never actually seen a Conan movie before this one. I read some of the comics that Dark Horse started put out in 2004 and it was pretty good stuff for the most part but I never really had a desire to get into him.
Until now.
After watching his father be killed as a child, Conan has sworn vengeance on the man and his army that raided his village and left him alone. Turns out the man responsible, wants a mask that grants unlimited power so that he can resurrect his dead wife.
You've seen the trailers and you should know what to expect. This movie had bad dialogue and cheesy CG at some points and I didn't care. This movie was bloody, violent fun the whole way through, just as it should be.
Jason Momoa was great as the Cimmerian. I had never seen anything of his until Game of Thrones ("You never watched Baywatch or Stargate: Atlantis?!" you ask. No. No I did not. Hard to believe, I know) but it set me up pretty well. In Thrones, Momoa plays Khal Drogo, King of the Dothraki tribe. Even though he didn't speak much, Drogo showed that Momoa was a badass. Full of grunts and killings and everything you could want in a warrior-king. As Conan, he really gets to show some acting. By no means is it the best acting you will ever see in a movie but you get a personality. You like this guy and that's pretty important in a movie that is based off of a lone man seeking revenge.
The baddie being sought is none other than Stephen Lang. A man who, at almost 60, still scares the pee-pee out of me. So much so that I can only refer to my urine as pee-pee. The dude, as with Momoa, somehow brings out awesome acting and scary attitude with his crap dialogue. This guy should probably play the badass villain in everything he touches.
Here's the plain and simple of it: if you don't mind some bad pacing and some crap written speeches, if you love violence and nudity, go see this movie. It was an awesome, fun time that that a lot of movies take for granted. Not everything has to be grand and epic.

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