Boobs of the Day

Krysten Ritter

As I prepare myself for the upcoming Netflix show Jessica Jones, I decided to give the short-lived comedy Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 a go and see what Miss Ritter has done outside of being Jesse Pinkman's girlfriend. The show is turning out to be rather hilarious with it's odd stories and even odder dialogue directions but most surprising is the fact that Ritter, as the B---- in Apartment 23, is somehow so much hotter when being a bitch than when not being a bitch. Guess I like 'em dangerous. She seems like she may be perfect as Jessica Jones and I would certainly be happy to watch her more.

(Late) NB of the Week

IT'S A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK COMPASS SPOILS. SO YOU DON'T GET LOST-

Daredevil #18

Written by Mark Waid

Drawn by Chris Samnee

 

Waid and company bring their four year run on the Man Without Fear to a close in perfect fashion. No big death, no big shocker, no big twist. At the end of the day, the bad guys lose and the good guy wins (even if in comics it's only for another month). This has quite possibly been the best run of DD since I've started reading and with Foggy's words towards the end, Waid perfectly sums up the type of hero we all know Murdock is:

"When you were a kid, you got blinded just trying to help an old man across the street. That wasn't fair. Ever since then, you've devoted your life to balancing those scales. To making the world a fairer place for everyone else despite the fact that it is a vast, random entity of incomprehensible power. You get up every morning and you fight an unjust universe because you think you can make a dent. That is exactly the level of arrogance Kirsten and I will always trust to protect us."

I won't go as far as to say that this run redefined the hero we all know. A lot of blows were thrown at Murdock and some big changes did happen (like everybody knowing Murdock is Daredevil) but I find it hard to say that all these things redefined who Daredevil is when every choice, every reaction, every move felt so very true to the character. If anything, this run strengthened the definition of who Daredevil is.

I started Daredevil on a monthly basis 17 years ago (which seems really long now that I say it) when Kevin Smith relaunched it under the Marvel Knights banner. Over that time, there have been downs but by far there were more ups and I have no problem saying that Waid's tenure has been my favorite and will likely be my test for any writer to come after. They all have my best of lucks in doing so and time shall tell.

But I doubt it.

NB of the Week

-I'D SPOIL THAT FOR A DOLLAR-

Birthright #10

Written by Joshua Williamson 

Drawn by Andrei Bressan

Birthright is the story of the Rhodes family and their very long journey after one of their children disappears. After that child then reappears, as a full grown adult, things get a little crazy. Mikey has returned as a warrior from the land of Terrenos and though he tries to tell his family he is there to save them all from the invading army of the evil Lore, it turns out he's actually been infected by a Nevermind and is there to help Lore conquer. He escapes the authorities and is on his quest with his bigger (though with his time in Terrenos, he is now much bigger and older) brother, they come face to face with a Diviner.

In this issue we get a little side story like Mikey's mother meeting Rya (his winged companion from Terrenos and soon to be baby mama) and beginning to realize more about just what Mikey went through but the real story (as usual) lies with Mikey and Brennan as they face the spirit looking to cleanse Mikey. It tells Brennan that his brother is infected and it has to end it before it consumes them all. Brennan is reluctant but he has been seeing his brother deteriorate and feels that if this thing can cure him, he has to let it. As the Diviner begins, Mikey tries to fight as the Nevermind fights back from within him. In the end, Mikey gives in to the Diviner. He claims he wasn't forced into this and chose the dark path he is on. As the spirit is about to kill Mikey (for that is the only way to fully end the infection), Brennan won't let his brother die, grabs Mikey's Blades of the Forever Field and stabs the Diviner, killing it. Mikey is shocked that Brennan was deemed worthy to use the blades, says he's already feeling better and they all prepare to leave. But of course there has to be more to the story as the last page reveals. Speaking to the Nevermind, Mikey revels in the fact that he was right and that Brennan is very important. Turns out using the blades isn't all that great as the Nevermind concludes with Mikey that his brother is on the path to corruption and that he will be the perfect host for their God King Lore.

If you take one part Jumanji, one part Flight of the Navigator and mix it all together with D&D, you have Birthright. WIlliamson is creating a whole world here that is fascinating and exciting and dangerous around every corner. And the art of Bressan has been pretty stunning. The name wasn't familiar to me before this series but he seems perfect in the fantasy world and I will absolutely be watching him in the future (and hopefully on this book for a good while).

No offense to what DC and Marvel have been doing, but Image Comics have been putting out more and more amazing reads and if the big two aren't careful, they're gonna start finding that out the hard way.

Boobs of the Day

Katrina Law
Having suffered through 35 episodes of Arrow, I can say that Ms Law came into the show just at the right time (meaning when it finally got good). However, if you nuts out there think she was hot as the daughter of Ra's Al Ghul (but not Talia), you should have seen her in Spartacus. She's even hotter when less clothed and killing with more blood.

NB of the Week

-MY SPOILS ELEVATES AND ISOLATES ME AND MAKES ME A RARE SPECIMEN-

Anybody buying the X-Men '92 series from Marvel? If not, you may have missed what is possibly the best cameo/reappearance ever:

You seeing what I'm seeing?! Right there. Big blue with Eany and Meany on each shoulder. Second biggest character in the panel.

Mother-fudging Maggott!

Yeah, he'll likely have no more lines and is probably gonna become cannon fodder within his next 5 to 10 panels but who cares? My (somehow)favorite x-man is back and he was brought back within the words of what very well could be my whole reason for loving comics as I do, the animated X-Men universe. Call it whatever you want, but I call this a win.

And a good day for other the 2 Maggot fans in the world as well.

NB of the Week

-I'M HEARING THE SPOILS OF GOD THROUGH A CROSSWORD PUZZLE!

Archie vs. Predator

Written by Alex de Campi
Drawn by Fernando Ruiz

For the longest time, the Archie/Punisher team-up was up there on the list of strangest crossover events of all time. Well, thanks to Dark Horse and Archie Comics, we get another (not to mention the just released Archie vs. Sharknado). After winning a trip to a lavish beach resort on their spring break, Archie and the \gang think they're in for a great time in the sun. But soon enough, Betty runs off into the jungle and finds a creepy looking cave and of course enters. Inside, she finds an ancient sacrificial knife that she accidentally takes back with her. And with that knife, follows a deadly hunter. Through the next three issues, the Predator systematically kills everybody off, including Sabrina (of the Teenage Witch variety) and sure enough Jughead. Eventually, Archie is slashed by the Predator's duel blades and Betty and Veronica are left to finish it. They drag Archie to the panic room in Veronica's mansion (did I mention that was the place of battle?) and hook him up to a machine that accidentally injects him with far too much... whatever it was they injected into him and they go off to finish the Predator. The ancient knife demands another sacrifice and they're gonna go out fighting. When in jumps Archie! All 'roided up and ready to fight. Veronica joins in but is quickly stabbed through the stomach! Betty joins the battle and quickly loses her arm for it! Archie kneels, defeated when the Predator slices and dices through his head, killing our beloved Archie! With a club to the head and a stab to the chest, Betty and Veronica soon defeat the Predator and end the cursed knife. However, they can't bare to lose all their friends so they take the still living Predator back to the panic room and begin to turn the predator into their loved Archie
The End.
This was the first ever Archie comics that I not only bought but even read. I've never read the Punisher book but may have to look for it now. This mini was great. Seeing the Riverdale gang filled with blood and guts and decapitation and spine ripping is hilarious. Not in the "violence is funny" way but in the "so damn ridiculous" way. This is one of those titles that should be read and talked about for years to come. Like Aunt May getting cosmic powers and being the Golden Oldie. It's that level and ridiculous. And Awesome.

NB of the Week

-I ONLY LIVE FOR TODAY. I'LL SHOW YOU JUST HOW SPOILED UP THAT CAN BE-

Hawkeye #22

Written by Matt Fraction

Drawn by David Aja

Almost three years age, I picked up Hawkeye #1 for the sole reason of Matt Fraction. I wasn't the biggest fan of his run on Uncanny X-Men but I loved his run on Immortal Iron Fist so as another solo character book started up, I rolled the dice and bought it and I have never been disappointed by it.

In this long awaited finale to the series, we get most everything tied up in terms of story threads (although with how delayed it had become, I can't guarantee that I even remember all the threads) and we even throw in a heartbreaking death, which considering the new Hawkeye series as already went three issues, is a big surprise. Kate and Lucky finally make their way back to Clint and the apartment just in time to help fight off the Tracksuit Mafia. As they get to Clint, we get the battle that's been building between him and Kazimier Kazimierczak. As she runs in and Lucky tries to attack, we get out death in the murder of Lucky. The dog Clint rescued from the Tracksuit Mafia back in issue one, died saving the man who saved him. Kate runs to his side as Clint unleashes the rage on Kaz. Before long, Kaz has the upper hand and Clint is staring down the barrel of a gun. Kate jumps back in but isn't enough to stop Kaz. She does however give Clint the time to live his namesake as he flings a wood splinter into the eye of Kaz, blinding him just long enough to pounce and finish him off. And after all that, we find that Clint's brother, Barney, is still alive and took off with the money. The series ends with some final pages that solidify the entirety of the theme and that's family. Clint and Kate, side by side, drawing their arrows and practicing as the pair.

This is a book that should never have worked. Haweye has had plenty of chances and his sales have just never been there. It's why they killed him off those years back. But Fraction along with the extraordinary art of Aja and Annie Wu created a character that we could connect to. It was a fight that anyone of us would have picked up arms and joined in. It wasn't about the Avengers or Gods or superpowers or any other science fiction element. It was about good people standing up to the bad people and fighting for what is right and when that's the connection you can so amazingly create, you've won. This is a series that I plan on rereading front to back very soon and already plan on doing it again soon after that.

(Late)NB of the Week

-POWER BELONGS TO NO ONE, UNTIL IT IS SEIZED THROUGH SPOILS OR VIOLENCE-

Invader Zim #1

Written by Jhonen Vasquez

Drawn by Aaron Alexovich

This one is simple: If you loved the show, you'll love the comic

The creator of Invader Zim (along with the ever popular Johnny the Homicidal Maniac) returns to the characters with a brand new comic. It sorta follows the tv show but really, if you know the premise of the show at all, you don't need to remember a whole lot.

Zim has been in hiding and Dib has been sitting in wait. Only over the time, Dib has gotten fat and gross and now is the time for Zim to strike once more.

Plot is about as important as it has always been which isn't much but damn is it good to see these characters back. It was like the show never ended and I am extremely happy to have it back. If you are a fan of the show or a fan of Vasquez (which likely means you're a fan of the show), read this book. It was great.

NB of the Week

No Pleasure, No Rapture, No Exquisite Sin greater... Than the Runs

X-Men '92 #1

Secret Wars has a lot going for it, especially in this title. The great 90s animated show comes to Battleworld as the X-Men find out from Baron Kelly of the existence of Clear Mountain, where evil mutants go to be reformed. Not trusting that sound, they go to check it and find its run by a lady called Cassandra Nova. After the word game with her, the X-Men agree to a trial run of her techniques. What they don't know is that she is also currently battling Xavier in the psychic realm. Nova is not what she seems. She is a clone of Xavier made by Apocalypse but found and inhabited by the Shadow King. Welcome back X-Men '92. Hope you survive the experience.

Where Monsters Dwell #2

Over in the Monster Dwell domain in Battleworld, Clemmie and Karl are lost after their plane went down. And it's not Called Where Monsters Dwell for nothing. Aborigine tribes, dinosaurs, giant sharks and crocodiles and after all that, a very large tribe of Amozonian women. Karl Kaufmann just can't catch a break.

Age of Ultron vs Marvel Zombies #1

Not a whole lot to this story yet. Beyond the SHIELD lies the domains of the AI (Ultrons) and the Zombies. This issue has some awesome fighting between the two. On top of that, an old school looking Hank Pym enters the fray. He soon comes across Vision, Toro and Wonder Man who are asking him to help save their world. Story is building but who cares? This issue had awesome zombies fighting awesome robots and that's all I needed.

Uncanny Avengers #5

The High Evolutionary looks to be winning but then the new team comes together and defeats him. Wanda feels alone but Vision steps in reminding her that she will never truly be alone. And that's it. I honestly expected more from this first arc but it's possible that Secret Wars kinda hindered that. Hopefully it'll come back strong yet again after Secret is over

Daredevil #16

Waid begins to bring his amazing run on DD to an end as he has Daredevil attempt to make a deal with the Devil. Though it is Marvel so I suppose I should distinguish the Devil from a metaphorical Devil because this is the latter. It is, in fact, the Kingpin. The Shroud has tried his best to ruin Murdock and it may succeed. Unless Fisk can help. Murdock is at the end of his rope and offers him the only thing he's ever wanted: the death of Matt Murdock. Matt will give Fisk the opportunity to "kill" him off all while he still stays as Daredevil. Only Fisk will know and then Fisk can have back the old leverage that he had over Matt. Kingpin seemingly agrees to protect Matt's friends and family in exchange only at the end, we see that Kingpin may have some aces up his sleeve as his ninja on the inside already has Foggy.

(Late) NB of the Week

Moving has made things a little/lot behind in most ways so this is 5 days late. 

So really it's the NB of last week.

Either way, let's get to it.

Thors #1

Written by Jason Aaron

Drawn by Chris Sprouse

What we knew ahead of Secret Wars was that the writer of the main Thor book was writing a book called Thors in which we got as police drama only with many Thors. Boy was he not kidding. What we didn't know at the time was what the Thors actually place in Battleworld was but we now know that it is as Doom's own personal police force, laying down the law as he has created them. When the Thors come, you know it has hit the fan.

Here in the pages of Thors, we get the best of Law & Order mixed in with the fear of Doom. There has been a murder. More than one, actually. The Thor known as Ultimate Thor and his partner, Beta Ray have the impossible sounding task of figuring out the now serial killer they have on their hands. This has become an Allthing. A case that needs to be solved as soon as possible before Doom himself takes an interest. Five women, seemingly no connection. Different ages, from different kingdoms and no known identities to boot. However, they do get a little from their forensics expert on the force, Throg (that'd be the Thor frog from way back, if ya couldn't tell). The five women do have a connection: they were the same woman. They now have a silver lining, they could possibly find lines as to where the killer may strike next. They just have to find any missing persons case that matches. As Ultimate ponders, Beta goes to his source on the street to find anything out. A homeless vagabond named Loki who claims he can shed light on some things but that Beta isn't going to want to hear them. We go back to Ultimate as he's in the bar (which only allows Thors in) arm-wrestling Groot-Thor (Groor?) as a loud crash of thunder is heard. The Thors head off as they follow it's source to an alley where they find Beta on the ground, twisted and bloody. The call goes out: officer down! Ultimate Thor begs his friend and partner to hold on. They were gonna get the Bifrost open and take him to the help he needs. As UT begs Beta to not move, Beta slowly whispers the one fact he found. He knows the identities of the murdered: Jane Foster. We end with Ultimate Thor, holding the now deceased body of hid partner.

If you change out the hammers and the flying and the setting, this was some of the best cop drama I've come across in a long time. It was surprising to find how non-superhero-y the story felt and how welcome it was. A book filled with Thors and I don't want superhero story. At this point, most every Secret War title, while different takes and mostly refreshing, have been somewhat the same feeling as before Secret War. Thors flips that all around. This different take finally equals a different feel and I can't be more excited to see how this murder mystery is going to play out.

NB of the Week

-IF YOU SAVE THE WORLD, WE CAN DO IT IN THE SPOILS-

Earth 2: Society #1

Written by Daniel H. Wilson

Drawn by Jorge Jimenez

This first issue to the relaunched Earth 2 title is one of those cases of counting the chickens before they hatch. I wasn't too sure on this book over the last year or so and here's the rundown as to why:

When DC launched Earth 2 in the New 52 universe, they brought in fan-favorite writer James Robinson, probably best known for his long tenure on the Starman title (a personal favorite of mine) and though making Alan Scott gay drew a lot of criticism, it was an excellent read in my opinion. About a year and a half later it all fell to shot. Robinson announced he was done with the book and DC and DC announced that Injustice writer Tom Taylor was taking over. Taylor was a surprise read as I knew nothing from the man but it was starting out in a very good way. Until Worlds End was announced. Half a year worth of weekly story from various writers about Darkseid coming to take their planet as the new Apokolips. The weekly was less than stellar. And that may still be a bit nice. In the end, Darkseid won and there was no more Earth for Earth 2. Until Convergence. In which another writer (Jeff King) wrote back into DC continuity the Multiverse that was originally destroyed way back in Crisis on Infinite Earths. This brought back alternate characters and storylines for DC as a whole and what was left from the Convergence world was taken by the remaining Earth 2 survivors as their new Earth. A literal Earth 2 for them. During Convergence, Earth 2 Batman (Thomas Wayne) was killed and Earth 2 Dick Grayson, after being paralyzed, has become the new Batman. Which is where Earth 2: Society begins. Several writers and more than a few bad stories later. Hence my hesitation. Welcome to comics.

So imagine me surprised when Robopocalypse writer Daniel Wilson takes the reins of this cluster and actually manages to tell a rather intriguing story. It all begins one year after "Planetfall" with the new Batman chasing baddies (as all Batmen do). Back and forth from this we go to the world after Convergence as the population begins to land and/or crash its way to their new planet while the remaining heroes all try to figure out how to start over. Grayson is definitely the start of this issue as he is "rescued" by the heroes in the past and saving the day in the present. In the present, he catches up to the new version of Johnny Sorrow and thwarts his attempt on the life of Terry Sloan; Mr Terrific, baddie of the world and all around douche. We end the issue with his running and Grayson wondering what has the most powerful man on the planet scared for his life.

This was not a train wreck. That's a very good surprise and a very good thing to read. Novelists tend to have a little trouble transitioning from their native narrative to a sequential one and Wilson is no different but it didn't lag in the way most do. The pacing was a bit off but not in a distracting way. The ending was a bit rushed and in fact, not much of an ending at all but as a whole, it's a solid and promising start to a title that really needs some consistency and direction, both of which have been sorely missed since Robinson left. Here's to hoping DC has pulled their heads out of their asses.

Boobs of the Day

Birgitte Hjort Sorensen
Ok, so her singing in Pitch Perfect 2 was pretty good and in that movie, Anna Kendrick kept getting flustered by her, always responding to her threats with compliments as she was taken back by her perfect looks. Meh. However, after her one episode stint on Game of Thrones last night (no spoils but maybe she comes back...?), she is much hotter somehow. Maybe it's the platform. Or maybe it's the badass fighting of the undead (She was with Mastodon in that all that, Adam). Anyway, she's looking mighty fine today.

NB of the Week

-I FIND A LITTLE GIGGLE-GAS BEFORE I BEGIN INCREASES MY SPOILS ENORMOUSLY-

Secret Wars #2

Written by Jason Aaron

Drawn by Esad Ribic

Real quick, before we get started, anybody want out from the spoils? Because there's going to be some big things going down... Still here? Good. Lets get goin'.

The Marvel Universe as we know it is no more. In it's place is the twisted, beyond-totalitarianism existence we were warned of, Battleworld. As the issue begins, we see a young man fail a test as another passes. He has been deemed worthy and shall take his place among the Thors as the protectors and law of the realm. Whom do they serve? Well the one, true God of course: Doom. And it's their job to keep his peace. As an old Thor tells this young Thor the ways, we move over to another land, the Kingdom of Utopolis, as Alex Powers, along with some molemen and Dragon Man, find a hidden area and a very big hidden surprise. A buried ship.

We move back to the Thors as they arrive at Bar Sinister, "arresting" Mr Sinister for the crime of discord. He moves along willingly, quipping at every chance, showing he may have a plan already laid out. The Thors transport him to Castle Doom in Doomstadt (somebody obviously has an ego to measure) where we see just how strong Doom has made his haven: not only is it built around the World Tree but Galactus is his personal watch dog, guarding it from any unwanted guests. Here, we also find that Stephen Strange is the Sheriff of Agamotto, Doom's right hand man and the final say in law and "justice." He finds Sinister guilty of trying to align with Hyperion, the Baron of Utopolis against House Braddock of Higher Avalon. Sinister lives his namesake and instead of punishment, he proclaims his right to meet the accuser in battle. Only instead of Baron Braddock (Jamie Braddock), he wants younger brother Lord Braddock (Brian Braddock). After a quick beheading of Sinister, Brian failed to see it would take more to defeat Sinister and is in return quickly defeated by his still living opponent. Before death, Doom stops the fight and we find that Doom is unhappy with Brian. Those that want him cast down utter one name. The name Braddock. As he begins to rule against Brian, Jamie steps in claiming it was his name they spoke, not Brian. Before too harsh a judgement can come down, Susan Storm (is it still Storm here?) steps in and convinces Doom of mercy. As such, Brian is made the new Baron as Jamie is stripped of all and is given to the Shield. As people leave the room, Strange is given news of the findings young Powers found earlier. He knows it isn't good and invokes quarantine there. Before following that lead, we get Jamie as he is given some armor and taken to the Shield. A seemingly endless wall separating the rest of Doom's world from the lower pits of Hell. Essentially. The Deadlands: home of the Zombie Horde, the Annihilation Wave and the Ultron AI. Old Thor tells new, young Thor of it's horrors and how many lives it has claimed and we leave them with Jamie fighting (a)Venom and zombies.

Back to Strange, he gives Thors the quarantine lead as they arrive to the ship and set it up. A quarantine happens when something against the word of Doom appears. 

"Sometimes things occur that seem to contradict the godhead of Doom. The question isn't are they real. It's do they matter. There is an order to this world, and that order has a name.. it is Doom. And there is nothing lurking in the shadows that can threaten his reign."

As the Thors talk, one moleman can't help itself (for the vessel is just so shiny and needs to be touched) and it moves towards it, opening it. The older Thor is struck down as he calls for younger Thor to run and tell the sheriff what is happening. As old Thor dies, we see the faces of those responsible and it is Death himself: Thanos and his Cabal. The ones from before the incursion and before Battleworld.

Shit just got real. Marvel has listed their titles and told us all of the premise of Battleworld but nothing could have prepared me for just how bleak and horrifying and badass it really is. Doom has finally made his world in his image and it appears that he is far beyond simply ruling. He said that there are those who wish him thrown down (as all rulers face) but his ruling seems very, very solid. Maybe Thanos is exactly what this world needs in order to save them from it all. The devil you know...

Boobs of the Day

Ruby Rose
In seeing pictures for the new season of Orange Is The New Black, I saw Miss Rose in a picture. Come to find out she has modeled, DJ'd, acted. All sorts of stuff over seas.
And if ya didn't notice, her tattoos include Archer and Leonardo of the ninja turtle variety. A girl with good taste. I'm in.

NB of the Week

-THERE'S ONLY ONE PATH TO SPOILS... YOUR EXTINCTION-

Secret Wars #1

Written by Jonathan Kickman

Drawn by Esad Ribic

Hickman begins the ending to his two year, massive story in world shattering fashion. Literally. In the start of his New Avengers run, we found the beginnings of the Incursions, wherein two universes began bleeding into one another with Earth as the focal point. Two outcomes were possible at that point: either one Earth was destroyed, thus destroying that realm of existence or neither Earth did anything at which point both universes collide and cease to exist. After fighting other worlds, fighting the bad guys and fighting each other, the Avengers and the whole Marvel Universe are down to one last Incursion and one last fight:

The Marvel Universe is colliding with the Ultimate Universe.

This is Secret Wars. This is the new Marvel.

After the Illuminati refused to kill another universe, Namor joined forces with those that will. Mainly villains like Terrax, Maximus the Mad and Thanos. Seeking to be the ultimate victor, they travel to the Ultimate

universe, seeking aid from their (arguably) worst villain: Reed Richards. They warn that the two worlds are dying and they just want to be on the winning side. Meanwhile over on regular Marvel, the Avengers are trying their best to save as many people as they can before everything dies. As warned, the two Earths have appeared together and all Hell breaks loose. Ultimate Marvels battling Regular Marvels as everything around begins to fade and collapse. As the Illuminati try to gather what they claim to be the best hope at rebuilding (ie the smartest and the strongest), they find themselves in way over their collective heads. The massive ship they're trying to leave on gets pulled apart, Regular Reed Richards (and others) in one half as Sue and his kids (and others) are in the other. They try to pull the two back together but it's too late. Sue's half is seemingly obliterated along with everything and everyone left on both Earths as the planets crash together. Everything turns white before we're left in the issue with nothing but blackness and a final epitaph page with the birth and death dates of both universes.

And all kinds of crazy happened. The apparent deaths of Rocket and Groot (before the worlds crashed), Scott Summers joined the Phoenix again, Doom is always behind everything. Not to mention with the world ending, Punisher goes after all the villains possible.

Ive said it before and I'll happily repeat myself: If you aren't reading a Jonathan Hickman book, you need to. Any book. The man is a plotting genius. His stories carry for lengths on end, never leaving a thread behind and everything he writes is important. It feels confusing and bit too heavy at times but dammit all if the payout hasn't been worth it every time. This is no different. We know that not everything is gone. Marvel has said that what is built from this is BattleWorld. A new Earth made up of different versions of characters from all kinds of different dimensions and timelines. Whatever comes from this will be the new, regular Marvel but those plans are pretty tight-lipped right now.

The only real negative from this issue is that if you haven't been reading the Avengers titles, it may come off as a bit confusing. If you're reading it, you likely know what the premise is and should be able to follow that much, but it's all been building and this is the full culmination of it all.

Amazing writing. Beautiful art (great to see Esad Ribic back with Hickman once more). Nothing will every be the same. Except those parts that are.

NB of the Week

-Weakness Compels Strength. Betrayal Begets Blood. This is the Law of the Nine Spoils-

This week may have brought what turned out to be the most diverse, well written week in a very long time. A little bit of everything was this week and all of it was a lot bit awesome.

Birthright #6

Michael and his big brother Brennan camp through the wild as their father must deal with the repercussions of letting them go. While this issue is mostly story set-up and movement, we do get to see the first, "real" shot of the God-King Lore and what I imagine Hell could look like:

 

And we also get a big set up at the end. More of the magic-or-something-whatever people that Mikey if hunting decide that if Lore set Mikey from Terrenos, they'd bring Terrenos to him. No idea who they are or what that blue magic stuff means, but it's blue so it has to be the good to Lore's evil red colors.

Miles Morales: the Ultimate Spider-Man #12

Miles has been taken captive by Hydra and Dr Doom but that will never be a match for his fight. Generating a new power (no idea what it exactly is but it was a powerful energy blast of sorts), Miles breaks free and takes the fight to them. By the time his friends find him, he has already single-handedly beaten them all. But before they can all get back ti life, they look up and see another Earth looming above them. Secret Wars is coming.

Saga #27

Marko is in a bad way. After doing some bad Fadaway with Miss Yuma, Marko is having major flashes to the past, in particular to points of violence and his beating of a young girl as a child who was burning his dog. All the memories lead him the realization of why Alana has done what she's done. Now he wants his family back and he's going to kill the man who has pulled them away. Once again, Saga is brilliant and I really cannot tell you how much you should be reading this.

Convergence: The Question #1 (of 2)

Convergence is kinda dumb. It's just a filler for DC to move their offices and bring back continuity they're regretting haven gotten rid of. However, if you read the Question stuff from Greg Rucka before the New 52 scrap, this is the book for you. It feels like the last four years didn't even happen.

Angela: Asgard's Assassin #5

Thor continues to chase Angela and their baby sister as Angela takes the child to Heven in hopes of purging the blood of Surtur from her. After catching up, a fight ensues between Thor and Angela over the baby, but when Angela saves her from death, Thor realizes that she is trying to help her. She tosses the baby into the underground furnace and we all wait another issue to see it's outcome.

All-New Hawkeye #2

Flashback-wise, wee see Clint and Bart as they first join the circus as kids, meeting the Swordsman and learning that there is more family out there than blood and better than any they've had so far. Back in the present, Clint and Katie save some children who look to have been experimented on. Once out, they use their mind powers to stop all the AIM baddies before they all get away. Clint remarks at the end that if he had known in that moment what he knows now, those kids woulda stayed right where they were. Foreboding words that I'm excited to see play out.

Descender #2

The hunters are here for Tim and after finding out he's worth even more, they can't wait to get his head. As Tim tries to run, he begins showing his defensive weapons and kills not only their hunting pet but the leader as well. Its at that point that things really turn. In response, one of them blasts Tim through the body, leaving his machine bits shorting and falling out as it all tries to reboot itself. Like a guardian angel, a drill machine wakes up, claiming to hate all "hrrmans" and kills the hunters. It picks up the "little bot" not knowing what to do to help little Tim-21. End Issue.

Great week. DC surprises with a great story in a crappy one. The Ultimate Universe is coming to a complete end. Angela continues to be a huge surprise read. Image Comics keeps chugging out some amazing, new stories. It's a great week to be reading.

NB of the Week

A Month Off? Man, Somebody Got Lazy

(Spoils)

Batman: Eternal #52

New 52: Futures' End #48

Earth 2: World's End

Written by: Various

Drawn by: Even More Various.

DC's next big event started this week in Convergence #0 and with that start came the three endings to DC's three, weekly titles.

And that was the best part about all three of them.

My excitement this week comes from the fact that these awful stories are no longer running. For the last year, DC has put out 126 weekly issues costing fans $378 and almost nothing happened. Batman Eternal was the struggle of the Bat-family as all shit rained down on them. Gordon framed for murder, Batman wanted by the police, Selina cutting ties and becoming a crime boss who shows her boobs more. And in all that, nothing happened. Stephanie Brown was introduced and the world got Bluebird in Harper Row and that was it. Hush came and went, Cluemaster was apparently smart but not smart enough to see he was gonna die and Lincoln March aka Thomas Wayne Jr was the baddie who set it all up. And then was defeated and put to sleep by the Court of Owls. And Gordon was cleared and back to being in charge. And Batman was a hero again. One year to tell this story and have everything back to where it was at the start.

Futures' End (started in last years Free Comic Book Day issue) was the story of Batman Beyond traveling to his past but still five years into our future in order to stop Brother Eye and Mr Terrific from creating the awful future he's from. So what ends up happening> nothing. Batman Beyond dies and passes the torch to Tim Drake, who is dead in Beyond's future. Tim then ends up traveling back to the future only to find that... nothing changed. Except some characters that were dead before Beyond left are now alive. Almost one year to tell this story and have everything back to where it was at the start.

World's End was sadly (happily?) the one that kinda did something. The heroes of Earth 2 were about to be invaded by Darkseid and their planet was to be the new Apokalips. So of course they all had to band together and stop the forces. Which meant that every issue was pretty much people running into another baddie and fighting and repeating. For 26 weeks. However, as I said, some things did happen. Alan Scott became something of a White Lantern as he has come to embody all the Avatars and not just the Green. Original Superman was found to not have actually died as was set up at the beginning of Earth 2 but he then died for real. Good job there. Mostly, they all lost. Darkseid won and took their Earth and now all living life that was able to escape on giant ships now has to find a new home. 26 issues that could have been told in 6.

But at least it's over. Now everybody can go join Convergence where DC is going to say "Ah screw it" and bring back the Pre52 stuff into their still newly rebooted universe.

NB of the Week

-THERE ARE NO RED SPOILS DURING CAR CHASES!-

Descender #1 - Tin Stars: Part 1

Written by Jeff Lemire

Drawn by Dustin Nguyen

Docor Jin Quon is the foremost expert on robotics for the United Galactic Council, the coalition of nine planets all living together through a united (obviously) front. Today, Quon has slept in which is very bad for him and possibly everybody. As he finally comes to, he is rushed to space to see what everybody has been seeing: giant, seemingly robotic entities looming over all nine planets. Unfortunately Quon is too late as they all begin to act. And begin to destroy everything they can.

Ten years later, on the moon of one of the nine planets, a young boy wakes up in a mining colony. As he walks around, searching for his family (or any semblance of life), he begins to interact with the colony's computer system. Tim-21 is the only one left and has been asleep for the last ten years. The humans he calls "Andy" and "Mother" are among all the dead after a gas pocket was hit, poisoning the atmosphere and killing everyone. As he walks through the building, uncertain of what to do, he is startled by a robot named Bandit. A robot he not only knows but fixes after finding it has been slightly damaged. And of course he fixes it with his own body for Tim-21 is also a robot. As he continues to search for his "family", he sees that two shuttles are gone so it is possible they got away before it was too late. As he turns on the computer system, he is alarmed to find out what has all happened over the last decade he missed. The giant robots, dubbed Harvesters, began their attack, killing millions. All planets tried to evacuate as many as possible before all nine giants simply vanished. The Harvesters appeared to have only gone after the citizens of the UGC, leaving most "mechanical companions and helpers" unharmed. The fear spread from there, causing a Robot Genocide as most people made a connection between the Harvesters and the robots they spared (sadly it sounds a lot like real fear mongering that happens on this planet too).

We cut back to a still living Doctor Quon as he is once again woken up, this time by an armed guard and an important looking lady in uniform, wanting his to help once more. The lady, Captain Telsa, wants Quon to explain his Codex Theory to her. A theory he has that all robots have a base machine codex similar to human DNA. That every part of their AI is built upon that, creating something akin to a digital fingerprint. Quon theorizes that if they could read the codex of the Harvesters, they could find a link to their origins and even to who possibly created them. Telsa tells him after his years of nothing, they have finally done it. A check on all know AI brought back a match to an existing model: the "Tim" series that Quon created fifteen years ago and child companions. They need Quon to help them because a Tim just activated on a neighboring moon. And they had better hope they find him first.

Cut back to Tim-21 and we're ended with a final page of ah shit, somebody else has just found Tim.

Sci-fi doesn't do much for me. I enjoy it enough but mostly it seems to be the same two stories: planets at war and people trying to run from it or invading aliens and we have to defend ourselves. This one feels different. Yes it starts as the second type of story but mixed in with it is a mystery that comes off stronger than any other aspect it has. Nothing is known of these Harvesters. No clue was given as to why they did what they did. This is a space crime. A space murder mystery and this first issue was great at capturing my attention. Dustin Nguyen's art has always been cartoony and mostly bright but it all somehow works with the dark reaches of this space. And Lemire is brilliant as always. He writes amazing characters and even his sci-fi murders feel realistic and down to Earth. This title is another winner in a good string of Image books that are giving DC and Marvel a run for their money. This is definitely one to keep an eye on.

Boobs of the Day

Abigail Ratchford
Don't know who Ms Ratchford is? That's ok. I was in your shoes at one point and kinda still am. But man does she look delicious. Look up any gif from her. My favorite is the More Bounce To The Ounce one. You will fall in love.

NB of the Week

-HE'S THE ONE YOU SENT TO KILL THE SPOILING BOOGEYMAN-

MPH #5

Written by Mark Millar

Drawn by Duncan Fegredo

MPH has been the story of what happens when regular joes on the street find a powerful drug that give them the super power of speed. Which of course leads to a crime spree. Why worry about consequences when you can be across the country on the blink of an eye? As we get to this last issue, we have lost one member to time travel, the Feds catching up to our (mostly)criminals (one really bad, the others are kinds wanting to stop with the cliched moral dilemma) and the mysterious Mr Springfield leading the Feds because he himself has experience with the MPH drug.

The bad seed in the group, Chevy, is confronted by Springfield and the Feds, being told that he hasn't killed anybody yet and now is the time to stop. Chevy's response is to kill all the gunmen around him. Springfield isn't to phased and tells him that Agent Cutler, the only one left alive, will be the one to shoot and kill him. As soon as Cutler pulls the trigger, the other two friends, Rosa and Roscoe, charge in to try and stop Chevy. The three of them begin a ten page fight at super speeds. Having the edge of willing to kill, Chevy is "slowly" winning the fight until Roscoe decides it's time to end it with an action unknown consequences: he takes all the MPH pills they have left. He's lifted into massive speeds that would give even Barry Allen a run (pun intended) for his money. Roscoe ends the fight by crossing the line he never wanted to, killing. He grabs Chevy and runs him straight into the bullet that Cutler fired earlier, killing him. Unfortunately he can't contain his speed and like their lost friend (Rosa'a brother Baseball), Roscoe finds himself lost in the past. 1985 to be precise. As we get back to Rosa, she comes back to find her love Roscoe missing. Kinda. We're finally clued into Mr. Springfield's big mystery. He is Roscoe. Having lived his life in what was the past, he now lead everybody to this moment. Him ending Chevy's terror and finally being back with the woman he loves. And he's not the only time traveler with good news for Rosa. Her brother, going even further back in time, finally became the man his sister had always tried to help raise. Sadly, he is dead in present time now but after becoming a self-made millionaire, he wanted to pay his sister back for all those lessons. Now her and Roscoe have nothing left to do but drive off into the sunset.

Mark Millar isn't always the most creative writer but he has such a blackened approach to stories that they read new and unfamiliar and with MPH he gives us what is essentially a Flash story for modern and younger audiences. And for once, Millar writes a story with a happy ending. If Kick-Ass and The Kingsman are the indicators, I'm all for this one becoming a movie as well. Somebody needs to talk to Matthew Vaughn about this one.

NB of the Week

-AN APACHE HELICOPTER HAS MACHINE GUNS AND SPOILS-

Thor #4 - Thor vs. Thor

Written by Jason Aaron

Drawn by Russell Dauterman

Thor is pissed at Thor. More over, Male Thor is pissed at Female Thor because Female Thor has his hammer which she does not deserve. However, being tricked, losing your arm AND losing your hammer has a way of dampening your common sense. The two tussle in the middle of battling frost giants in amazing fashion that only two Thors could do. After a little, Mjolnir does a little flying trick that MThor has never seen. As he stands bewildered, Mighty Mjolnir flies back to him, right as he feels it should. Only it's not to him. It's to FThor behind him. Finally giving in, MThor concedes, saying that FThor is right and that his hammer has chosen her over him. As he begins to let it go, he does ask her a question. With his mother missing, is it her who wields his weapon?

Well, I certainly hope that was no.

With that aside, the two put said common sense back into the fight and turn against the giants and Malekith in what may be one of my favorite splash-pages in a very long time:

All ends as expected, though, as Malekith destroys MThor's arm that he's been wearing, they turn tail and the Thors go back to free all that the giants froze, including MThor's missing mother. They all seem to find FThor familiar but nobody (including us) knows her identity yet (Jane Foster?) and we are left with Thor giving her his blessing and her heading off to be the one, true Thor.

Jason Aaron has done some pretty amazing things with Thor so far and this new version is just as exciting. The story may not be as explosive as Godbomb but what blasts of action we may not get as much of now, we get more character and secrecy and I'm all on for a change of pace like that when it comes to a new character. And Dauterman's art is phenomenal. This dude did next to no issues of Nightwing and then moved over to Cyclops and now with Thor, he's showing why he belongs with the big boys. It's sleek and clean like Coipel but with a little more cartoon/mango mixed in. He just may be the perfect choice for a female Thor book. If this keeps up, I'd highly recommend adding this to the God of Thunder trades that you should already  own.

NB of the Week

-IF YOU ONLY HEARD THE SPONGE STORY-

Star Wars #1 - Skywalker Strikes

Written by Jason Aaron

Drawn by John Cassaday

Star Wars is back at Marvel and Marvel has pulled out the big guns to kick it all off. Along with the amazing writer and the amazing artist, what else can I say about this book? Only one word is needed:

Badass

Badass

Badass

And Badass

That's all you need to know. Go get it.